WHAT ABOUT ME?!

Hello??! I am wondering where my "Happy Birthday" post is? Why did I not get a special post on the blog about my birth? Am I not as important as Loki? Am I being punished for not writing on the blog for 2 weeks? Or is it that as the oldest child Loki just thinks her birth is superior to mine?! I demand to know... Sure, I only wrote one line and put up a lousy photo for Loki's birthday, but it's the thought that counts, right?! At least I said something! It is unfair that I did not receive birthday wishes from our thousands of fans (Or cards, roses, and chocolates...) I refuse to write until the love returns.

Sincerely,
Stella

Keepin Up with the Jones'

Loki: I think Stella has a secret boyfriend. She has been sprucing herself up the last couple of months. I am starting to wonder what exactly is going on. She is starting to make me feel frumpy. I don't like feeling frumpy. She is exercising like crazy, (which we all already know,) but now she is tanning, buying new clothes, new shoes, and she even put a feather in her hair. I don't really get the feather... I actually thought you were talking about the kind that hung out below your hair line. I am intrigued to see this feather extension in person. I feel like I am not keeping up. I went shopping this week for my b-day and I wanted to buy pajama pants and yoga pants more than I did nice pants. I was drawn to the t-shirts rather than the tube top dresses. I think my skin is probably see-through right now and I am not in the least worried about it. I am the kind of gal that goes as long as possible in between hair cuts. I love getting bangs but I don't go to the salon enough to keep them. Either that or I attempt to cut them myself....which never really works out too well. I will wear shoes that are falling apart if they are the ones that I happen to grab right before I leave. (Really I would wear flip flops everywhere if I could.) I want to be cool... what can I do?

Stella: A secret boyfriend? I WISH! haha. That is the most absurd thing I've ever heard. I would die for ANY contact with ANYONE of the opposite sex. But alas, the only men I see that aren't related to me is Bob Harper (The Biggest Loser trainer,) Clinton (from TLC's What Not To Wear,) Boston Rob (Survivor,) and sometimes - yes SOMETIMES!- when I'm driving past another car I'll look up and there will be a man in the vehicle next to me. Yes, a real LIVE man. Unfortunately, that's about it. Yes, I'm definitely hiding something...

Anyhow, moving on... I feel frumpafied a lot too. I don't think there is anything wrong with taking care of yourself. But don't try to talk to Mom about it if you do. "Who are you trying to impress!?!" she'll snarl at you. She might as well just say, "Why do you even bother getting out of bed in the morning?" or even "No one ever looks at you! You are INVISIBLE!" When I reprimand her for being so negative she says, "Oh, I didn't really mean it like that." But I know better. She knows that I live in a hole and why should you decorate something stuck down in a hole?! By the way, I love my feather. Steven Tyler, eat your heart out. (Again, another man in my life.)

Loki: I wish I could help you out but the only man I see is my man...and well, that doesn't help any. I hardly even see him as it is. Moving on ... perhaps my mission at your "party"... (and by party I mean your 2 friends and me and my friend) shall find you a date. Would you go on a date? Yes, yes, we have already spoken of the caliber of men that we may or may not find at an adult establishment...but one never knows. Anyway, Bess just doesn't know how to spend money on herself... she isn't used to it anyway. I don't have the money to blow on myself. I used to, but then I became unemployed and I guess un-hirable. Maybe one day that will change and we can take our little daughters and go get mani's and pedi's. I hope one day Blue is old enough that she will keep Bella entertained...but by then she might be hanging out with 16 year olds.

Stella: Why can't people paint their own nails? I don't get it. Do you not know how to scrub your own foot or file a nail? Also, I do not want you to ever feel it is your goal to find me a date. That only equals total humiliation on my part. I do not want to have to "date." It just seems like a big hassle and waste of time. Blah. No dating for me. I'm just going to wait for God to command someone to marry me. You know, like in that stupid book I just read. (I also realized that "soiled dove" was not a term Curls came up with herself, which made me very glad.) I think this is a great plan and requires me to do nothing at all. I just have to walk by someone that saint-like to listen to such a command. Hah. Didn't we talk about this on here already? I feel this is a repeat.


Loki: I dont know why people don't paint their own nails. I only said such things because it sounded like a prissy thing you would want to do in the future... you know something else to pamper yourself.. Yes this blog is beginning to repeat itself. But what can I say? We are not doing anything entertaining and without working side by side and then gossiping about the crazy people we work with we are forced to talk about you and your non existent dating life. While I am sure God will place you in front of your future husband I do think you have to be a little proactive about it...or at least open to the idea. Its not like you will be walking down the street and a man/boy will have a big giant red arrow above his head. I say man/boy because you haven't seemed to graduate to a man yet...and are only attracted to those man/boys (that is a blog we have already done). Anyway perhaps you should join one of those dating websites...you can decide while hiding in your room in your pj's. That was too many prepositions for me. I must go now and attend to my baby...who has snatched a picture of herself and is kissing it. Weird..yes but still cute.

What thing would you like to do to pamper yourself? 

PS...I'm pretty sure Stella actually got a pedicure this week

Hap Hap Happy Birthday

Happy 28th Birthday today to the one and only LOKI! 

Checking In

Loki: I just wanted to say a quick hello to all our readers. We seem to be on a pattern where we post regularly one week and then the next...nothing. I guess this is a nothing week. I just wanted to give a heads up that Stella has a friend coming in town next week and they will be busy gallivanting around town...so time to blog will diminish. If anyone is interested in guest blogging with me or with someone else just let me know! :) I think it might be time for another Saucy and Curls banter....that is if Saucy can find the time. I hear little Meatball has been sleeping less and less during nights. No fun! Nothing new is going on here which is why we are having a hard time coming up with topics to banter about. I would like to say that I made it through my first week of running and this second week is already easier. I am looking forward to buying me some new kicks so that my poor feetsies will feel better.(No shin splints yet!) Although it has been rather cold here..I have to say that I am beginning to like it. It is all about making it a habit huh? People always say that (and Big T) and I would just think it was a ploy to get me to work out. Stella is still busy being obsessive with the working out. She has now starting tanning which is just going to get me even more green. Anyway no new news on the job front. Who would've thought it was going to be so hard to find a decent job when I actually started looking for one! Okay well enough of the update...if I don't speak to you again..have a wonderful week!

Curls-- what is a finger monkey? like a real monkey? I just watched a documentary about little house pet monkeys...and those people were nutty. It is like a baby. Like a baby...in a diaper... for the rest of its life. The thing never "potty trains". Also when they hit puberty...they become mean and uncontrollable and often times attack their owner. Okay so I just googled the finger monkey and it is quite adorable. The documentary I watched was not about finger monkeys but I am sure it is similar. Are you really going to get one? Please do!

 What do you think about this monkey? Animal haters--- Stella and Cookie?

Zonk

Loki: I do not know what it is in the air today, but I am about to rip my eyes out of their sockets. I have really bad allergies today. (Obviously from the sentence I just wrote about ripping my eyes out.) I just wanted to be clear it was because of the allergies and not from something that I saw, which could also cause you to want to rip your eyes from their sockets. Anyway, I digress. I literally had tears dripping down my face and sneezing so uncontrollably (and snotty) that I had to grab a towel to sop up that mess. Anyway I finally realized in this small pea brain of mine that they make medicine for such suffering. I look in my medicine cabinet and  the only thing I have is Benadryl. Okay great. I take one. An hour later and I am still in misery. So I take another. Thankfully Blue went down for a nap at this time and I decide to close my eyes as well. I need some relief anyway. Zonk (that is me literally passing out) I forgot how loopy and sleepy Benadryl makes me. I thought I had just closed my eyes when I hear Blue up and playing in her crib. I am considering just ignoring her and leaving her in the crib to fall asleep already when I realize that an hour has passed. We did take a nap. We are up now and after several splashes of water on my face I am coherent. I am still a little loopy and would like another nap but I do not have that option. As for my eyes.... I feel like clawing them out of my head again.

Stella: Sometimes mom will dress in a monochromatic color scheme to brighten up my day. It really does make me cheerful to see her looking like such a fool. Pink sweats, pink t-shirt... maybe pink socks if I'm lucky.

Stella: It's me again. I'm wondering why you haven't written on this post. You started it and wrote out a bunch of jibber jabber and I merely returned the favor. And yet, you ignore it. As if my random thoughts were not of any interest to you. They were not up to your standards, eh? You think my stories are not as clever and exciting as yours? That's fine. See if I care. I don't have allergies. Unless you want me to talk about my ears hurting, I don't know what else I could possibly say on this topic. We could discuss the weather I suppose. Are you enjoying this lovely day out? It's been awfully windy running up the hill lately. Today Bess actually gave out on me and slowed down to a walk. The nerve! I know, right?! I ran up behind her and started hitting her on the back. I told her that I was trying to beat some life into those old bones of hers. hahahh. That line still cracks me up. It did not motivate her to pick up the pace, but I don't think she'll do it again. hahah. Oh, I am a funny girl. I will look myself in the mirror every day and repeat this. ZONK!

Loki: You are in rare form today. I like the word ZONK. It's fun. I did not return the post because I wasn't sure if you were done with your jibber jabber. You see in order for it to be jibber jabber you must yammer on about nothingness for an entire paragraph. You only wrote like 2 lines.... not a jibber jabber paragraph does that make. I am sorry for the boring subject material of my miserable allergy head. At the time that was all I could think about... and it was quite another thing to be loopy on pain meds while taking care of a child. Please don't report me to DHS. It has only happened once. This is off subject but do you cry at everything you see about kids on shows or documentaries? Anytime there is an injustice or I feel sorry for a child my eyes automatically brim up with water. Maybe it is a sign of the allergies but it's like because I have a kid now I am more sensitive to those sad stories. Why I was taping that Lisa Ling documentary (on the OWN network) and it's about heroin use or something. I only made it through like 5 minutes where they were showing these parents drag along their 1 year old on their drug runs and then sticking their arms in front of the baby. Then it showed that these two "winners" had grown children too...like teenagers... and lo and behold, they were shooting up as well. I was bawling... and had to desert the program.

Stella: Yes, I do that too. I watched "The Pursuit of Happiness" while pregnant... and bawled the ENTIRE time. I can't watch shows about drug addiction that involve children, which most do. It happens every day all around you.. I know enough about it without having to watch it on television.Plus I already studied that in school in "The Abused." Yes, that was the name of the course. Talk about the most depressing subject you could ever study. I can watch Teen Mom & that's about all I can stomach. Man, this post is all over the place. The only thing I like about it is my story about me beating life into Nan's old bones. HAHAHAHA. Still makes me laugh!

Loki: I am going to make your daughter read this one day...when you apparently have "old bones." I am sure she will be just as inventive as you coming up with random names to call her mother. I shall enjoy it deeply...although I am sure "Nan" will too. She will say, "Why when I was your age you were calling me Ol' Bess and you were telling me my old bones needed some life beat into them!" I am pretty sure we have a hip mother.... and pretty much always have. Although I think she went through a stage when she dressed in really frumpy clothing.... and I am not sure how hip it was, but I have a feeling that it wasn't hip at the time. But we were too young to care at the time. In fact, I think Bess has some of that clothing still in her closet. Tomorrow we are going to film her trying on the many different hideous ensembles she has managed to hang (hoard) onto. I am thoroughly looking forward to it. Do you remember how mom had long curly hair (permed hair) when we were growing up and then one day she went and chopped it all off? She was very excited to show us her new "doo" and we both told her we hated it? I don't know that I had a filter back then. Of course I then remember her getting upset because of course she didn't want us to tell her we didn't like it!! I remember feeling bad. Sorry mom! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings! It was just such a drastic change and we were not prepared. Hahha talk about random. I figured I would give this post just a little more flavor. As always I have to end this post because of something Baby Blue has done/is doing... she has crawled up on to the ledge on the patio and is trying to stick her head in the fountain. Momma must go save the child.

At least her hair didn't look this bad! Tell us something random! 

Marathon

Loki: We were having a lovely lunch time with our mom, grandma, aunt and cousin the other day and somehow the conversation turned to running or exercising or diets... something like that. Anyway, everyone encouraged Stella that she should take part in the marathon that Cookie is running in May. No one even mentioned me. I mean... I know, I know! Why would they? But my competitive nature peaked and I got mad at myself that I am not this athletic girl that I once was. I want that back. So I have decided to train for it. Obviously I am going to have to start out slow and will not be able to partake in the coming up marathon... but perhaps by September I will be able to. Let me also just clarify that my goal is the half... not the full. I can't imagine running for 5 plus hours straight. I also dont think I am currently a runner and I usually get some pretty gnarly shin splits.... BUT who doesn't. Anyway, this is my goal. I am starting tomorrow. I also think that instead of concentrating or doing exercises to "lose weight"...that if I had some athletic competition or something it would help motivate me.

Stella: That's why you told me you wanted to run a marathon? Hahahhahaha. Oh poor Loki. You should just try out running and see if you like it before setting a big goal. It's like the only time my name has ever been mentioned with an athletic event and you freak out. I'm sure if you ran on a daily basis someone would have suggested you as well. Anyhow, I don't get shin splints? I don't even think I know what those are.

Loki: It feels like your shin muscle is getting stuck on your shin bone. Sorta like a charlie horse but on your shin. That is the best way I can describe it. I even get them on treadmills, which is why I always end up on the elliptical. You will be happy to know that I have ran twice now! Wow, huh? Sept. seems a long way away... I am just looking forward to when the running gets easier. I think I am running about 2 miles right now... (which is like a baby step compared to the 13...but its one step at a time.) I think I have to get over it mentally as much as physically. I keep concentrating on how far I have gone instead of how I feel. Anyway, I should probably start running other places than my neighborhood.... Only because I blare the music in my ears and I will probably run out in front of a car one day. Oh well. I need to go download some more "work out" songs to my ipod so that it will motivate me to keep on. Right now I listen to Rhianna "Only Girl" and Pink always pumps me up too. Anyway, I need to get some new shoes too but seeing as I am unemployed still I may just need to get some insoles or whatever they are called. Yes, I know that you dont think I will actually run the marathon...but in order for me to get up and run every morning, I need to have a goal. An end goal... and maybe in a couple of months I will already be in the habit of getting up and running and I won't care to run an actual marathon. However, I have to tell myself that this what I am training for. I dreamed last night about softball.... about playing in a tournament. This isn't surprising since most of my childhood was softball... but it made me want to play. I should join an adult league or something. I have been doing cartwheels for my daughter (she thinks they are funny) and can I just tell you that it hurts? Why do cartwheels hurt me? I guess I really am old. Maybe running and getting in shape will also allow me to do cartwheels over and over. Now there is a goal!

Stella: I never said you couldn't do it. I just asked WHY. You should have seen Mom's old running shoes we made her get out and show Choc Chip the other day. We told her they weighed about 20 lbs and to prove that we weren't exaggerating she went and got them out. (You might ask why she is still saving them, but it is ole Bess we are talking about!) Maybe you were there when we did that. I don't remember. It was still funny either way. It is always good to have a goal. I do not have a goal anymore. I am hoping that  if we all go on a tropical vacation this year then that can be it. If not, I'll just be depressed that I don't have anywhere to go. And like the rest of my life, there will be nothing to look forward to. WAH! I'm thinking of having a pity party tonight. Want to come?

Loki: NO.

Stella: Fine. As part of the party I was going to invite you to go to BTT. My one true love. But now I shall find another companion to take. Instead I shall leave you with my current playlist of songs to run to:

The Killers-All These Things I Have Done (My hands-down all time favorite song...)
Talking Heads- Burning Down the House
Florence & the Machines- The Dog Days Are Over
Fat Joe ft Nelly- Get it Poppin
Whitesnake- Here I Go Again
Queen- Fat Bottomed Girls
Madonna- Like a Prayer
Beck- Loser
Kanye- Golddigger
Elton John- Rocket Man (although I always end up singing this one while running which takes away some of my energy)

What do you listen to while burning off those calories and melting the fat?

Amputeed

Loki: I don't care how much fun Baby Blue is having playing with her toys. If I get up and go in the kitchen to cook...she immediately follows me in there and wants me to pick her up. When I can not pick her up because I am trying to chop up something to eat she starts to throw a fit. She wedges herself in between me and the cabinets and yanks on my pants. Her little arms reach up to me while she screams. Eventually I give in and pick her up and continue cooking the meal one handed. She quits crying the minute I pick her. She enjoys watching me cook. Usually I am preparing meals before Big T gets home so I am the only one here but even when he is here, I somehow end up holding her while I cook. I know she is small but after holding her for an hour I feel like my arm is going to fall off. I am just wondering what happens when there are 2 of them. NO, I am not pregnant but I am just thinking about what my poor mother did...and if I do have another sooner rather than later, will I have to pick them both up?

Stella: Looks like someone needs to learn the word "no." Haha. How do you like that for unwanted parenting advice from your little sister? Just put the kid down or just have another kid already. There's NOTHING exciting happening around here. We need a little something-something to look forward to besides what's for dinner tonight.

Loki: You don't want me to get pregnant again. Then you will constantly have to listen to me moan and complain about this ailment or that.. Seriously, I have to be the worst pregnant person ever. I know why you want me to get pregnant... you will virtually disappear from behind me. I hope not to but chances are I will blow up again... and then I might sit on you and squash you. Oh, and I do tell the child no. I try to ignore her when she is slapping my legs... and when she is throwing fits on the ground because is not getting her way. (that part is actually humorous) but then it gets the better of me and I just pick her up...usually when she starts wailing "mommmmma". Anyway we took her to the dr. yesterday for her year checkup (even though she is actually 13 months). She only weighs 20.2lbs. She is in the 25% for weight. Of course she is in the 75% for height. Can I just say that Saucy's baby is already 14lbs. haha.I wonder if my next baby will be small or chunky. Okay, that's it for talk about my next child. I'm going to go do a voodoo dance, walk backwards, knock on wood....something to make it not happen NOW. I guess that is probably like me and you as babies.... I was small and petite and you were big and chunky. I guess thats why everyone thought we were twins...we were the same size.  Awww.... but now we have switched. Poo. I would have rather have been the chunky baby than the chunky adult.

Stella: Just for the records, I was a healthy child. Not chunky. Now I'm going to tell you endless stories about my daughter like you do. Last night, Bella was watching a movie & the little girl's cat died sending sweet Bella into tears. It was precious. Then later she asked me what kind of animals do I like? Like she can already tell I'm a terrible person for not loving them as she does. Boo. Should I just lie and pretend to like them? We've also just finished reading our 4th Ramona book. So for a change I picked up my old "Little House on the Praire" books. We started with "Little House in the Big Woods." The entire first chapter was about the daddy killing deer and how they would smoke the venison and how dad butchered the pig with two big knives and Laura ran to hide so she wouldn't hear the pig squeal.... Not exactly age appropriate material. So now looking for another chapter book that Bella can listen to. Still have 4 more Ramona books so guess we'll stick with those for now. Alright, I'm boring myself. I hope you're equally tortured.

Loki: Mission accomplished. Although I like hearing stories about my sweet neice... its just that you told me that story this morning.... so it is the second time I am hearing it...which does induce snooze worthy material. My daughter is currently shoving her face with mandarin oranges (the kind in a fruit container) and as a treat I put a dollop of whip cream on top....it is her desert after all. I am sure you would cringe if you saw her.... she is sufficiently messy, but I remembered to take off her clothes this time. I was considering inventing something like a bib that would also hook up to the bottom of the high chair tray...like a catch all of some sort. But then I gave up because although that would prevent her clothes from getting messy....she still shoves her dirty hands in her hair making her all sticky. I think she does this on purpose because she loves bath time so much. One more thing.... my boob (yes just one) is throbbing in pain as it is rock hard and full of milk (sorry if TMI) . This hurts too much.... she might just get nursed for the rest of her life. 

Stella: Gross. I'm done here.

What's wrong with that?