Boom Boom Pow

Stella: In case you guys have missed Loki's ramblings and have been wondering what deep thoughts have crossed her mind lately, here is a post she wrote by herself last month. I hope you enjoy it.

 

Loki: I sit here and ponder. Ponder what you ask? What I am doing here sitting in this firework stand by myself staring out at an open field and a cross section of road. Cars and trucks are passing by. Most of them are peering in at the stand to take a gander at all the product set up behind me. We are really too far from the road for anyone to really see anything but people look anyway. I watch and wait and yearn for them to turn into the parking lot. Some slow down and I think Yes! A customer! But no they keep driving by. Apparently Father’s Day is not a good day to buy fireworks or sell them for that matter. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, I am sitting in our firework stand by myself. It is father’s day and so my child’s father would rather spend his time with her instead of at this desolated firework stand. So off they went to play in a pool. A pool! It is like imaging a mirage at this moment. I am just sitting… and I am sweating my balls off. (I like that saying no matter who it offends) I am chugging water because apparently just sitting in heat you dehydrate. I feel thirsty and water logged at the same time. I have a very small bladder but I have yet had to pee.  I have this lovely lap top sitting in front of me but no internet.  What is good about a lap top if you do not have the internet. I could get some good time in scouring facebook or even job ads or I could even play angry birds. Most of this can be done on my phone but my phone has decided to be a pain and I cannot text properly and for some reason the battery depletes rapidly when I am out here in firework land. I have already been out here a few times working and while it was hot… I had company. It is entirely different when you are by yourself. Perhaps I should stop complaining. I have my ipod out here so at least I have music and there is a breeze, a very windy hot breeze but still a breeze. Although today has been slow we have been doing decent business the past half week. We have only been open for 5 days. …so who knows what will happen the next 2 weeks. Perhaps we will make so much money that Big T will quit herniating and take a breather. I know Stella is already tired of hearing about Big T and I’s firework stand. I am sorry for talking about it all the the time but it is going to consume my every waking moment until July 7^th. She should just be thankful she is going on vacation with the family and will be out of reach for a week.

 Did you know that my family is going on a “family vacation” but without me? I don’t think it should be called a family vacation unless the whole family goes. TMC isn’t going either. I refuse to listen about the cool water parks, awesome food, laying out, shopping and any other wonderful activity they will be partaking in while I am forced to sit in this tin box and sell explosives to people.  I was invited to go but I could not go for a whole week therefore I would have to drive 8 hours by myself and I just think that sounds miserable. My child would drive me nuts and I would probably just un buckle her and let her pretend to drive on my lap and then I would either get in a wreck and we would both die or get pulled over and get put in jail….or get a ticket whatever the punishment would be for letting a 1 year old drive. I also was talking to my mom about how much I would have to pay to go…and Stella was like  what? Do I have to pay anything? Apparently she is getting a free vacation. I guess that is the perk of living at home? Sorry maybe that wasn’t so nice but I get bit by the green monster quite often when it comes to Bess and Stella. Well, what a cheerful post this has been!! I have run out of things to ramble about… my mind is being sucked into a vortex of numbness. I just realized that I am typing this out on a word document so that I could cut and paste into our blog AND…I wont be able to take this laptop home until July 7^th.  Bahahaha I am the smartest person alive sometimes. Okay I am going to go and pace or try to rearrange some fireworks before I go insane.  

Loki: Hi its me again. I wrote that at the beginning of the firework season and let me just say that if you ever decide to run such a business, its not fun until the 4th weekend. I mean there were several interesting people showing up everyday but you dont get really busy until then. We ended up doing pretty well but with the burn ban A LOT of people were nervous to buy the big items so we ended up with quite a bit of left over. We did pay for our container (the actual stand) and we turned a profit so it was a success. Big T is all about having multiple stands next year so I am sure it will be equally if not more stressful. (I was about to delve into all of the decision making you have to do on a short notice, but thats just boring). Let me tell you about some of the characters I saw in my time as a firework stand owner. First you have the kids. These are by far the pickiest customers around. They spend only a few dollars at a time but they are serious about it. They want to know what EVERYTHING does. I am talking the $.50 items. Whats even funnier is we would have several kids that lived in the surrounding neighborhoods that would come every day to spend $2 or $3 and I would have to give the run down on every item, every time. I didn't mind this I just found it humorous. One kid did this everytime he came and I probably saw him 10 times and he would only buy smoke. The kid proably spent $30 on colored smoke. Next you have the big spenders. These guys want the biggest and the best. This one guy came at least 15 times to our stand. He would buy multiple big items and go and shoot them that night just to see if he liked it enough to put in his July 4th show. I have no problem with that ...but it amazes me how much people will spend on fireworks. We saw a mother drive her 4 children in a golf cart to the stand and when she got out she was CLEARLY intoxicated and drinking a beer. I guess she thinks as long as she is driving the golf cart it is not drinking and driving. I also gave a therapy session to a teenage girl who was very upset about her father's girlfriend. This all happend while the girlfriend sat in the car and screamed 10 feet away. I heard my husband say "it has a complex, it thinks its a 500 gram cake" 900 times. Yes I realize that probably sounds jibberish to you but we all had our own selling techniques for all of this product and you just repeat yourself over and over. Big T and I both realized that we did enjoy working for ourselves and we didnt kill each other. I am sad to say that I wont get to talk about the difference between a cake and an artillery, the Luna Chic, Hydrogen Bomb, or the Excalibur for a whole year. Stella can roll her eyes all she wants but next year she will have her own stand. Muahahha

This was my favorite "cake" (big show in a box) item we had. The hydrogen bomb.

Stella: I'm glad we let you have that time for yourself. It is probably a good release for you.

Did you pop fireworks this year? Do you ever?

The Banter is Back!!!

Stella: Aww.. It has been so long since I have been on here that I almost forget to include my 'secret' name. Well, summer is sadly coming to an end so we have decided that it is time to return to our beloved blog and the thousands of fans we have left behind, who are surely lost without us. I would like to be able to say that we have been taking time off to have wonderful and exciting adventures in exotic locations... Or that I've been waiting for the right moment to introduce the new man in my life to our adoring readers. But no. The most exciting thing I've done lately- and I don't think exciting is even the right word for it- is read the entire Harry Potter series. I feel the need to go hide my face under a pillow now.

So instead of lounging around on a pool raft with a tropical drink in hand (like most people with a job probably dream of doing if they had time off with nothing to do,) I've had my nose buried in a pile of books. Approximate page numbers per book... Book 1 - 309, book 2 - 350, book 3 - 448, book 4 - 896, book 5 - 850, book 6 - 600, book 7 - 750, Which all together equals about - 4,176 pages of wizard land.

So much time and brain power has been devoted to reading that I find myself talking in a British accent and even texting things about "me mum" and saying all sorts of words I never used before like Blimey! and Brillant! And craving things like treacle tart (which I have absolutely no idea what that is except they eat it a lot at their feasts and it sounds delicious.) Even at night I've been dreaming of Quidditch and characters like Fred & George and having nightmares about Voldemort and evil Helena Bonham Carter. haha. This is a sure sign that I need help.

I have also watched all the films except for the last one because I can't find anyone to go with me. The Man Child already went himself and I'm sure I'd have to bribe him and pay for his ticket to get him to go with me and even then I am sure I already annoyed him enough watching the first 7 films with my constant comments and criticism that he'd refuse to go. There's just no use. I'll have to wait till it's out on dvd or brave it and go by myself. Oh and when I was watching the last dvd, Bella happened to just be getting up from her nap. She looked at me and sighed and said, "Are you back in Harry Potter land again?" Well, I am glad to say that I am not the only one who has had a rather dull summer. I'm pretty sure the only exciting thing Loki has done is look for jobs and sell fireworks. Now... "Accio water!" Just kidding. I don't really have a wand to perform spells with. I just wanted to try to bring my water over  to me without  having to get up for it. I'll stop now before I bring further embarrassment upon my family.

Loki: I have not read the Harry Potter books. Nor have I had any desire to read them. I do not want to read about wizards. I guess a lot of people would say the same about vampires but whatever. I haven't done much reading this summer, except for The Help. I did enjoy that book and am looking forward to the movie. Anyway enough about books...BORING. I have not had an "exciting" summer as you would describe it but I have spent many a day out in my back yard playing with a kiddie pool and a water hose. I do quite enjoy it. Yes yes I know we are in a drought right now and I am not supposed to be using excess water but whatever. Obviously my writing skillls have not improved and I will have to get used to editing my thoughts again as I just re-read this paragraph and noticed I put 'whatever' 500 times. So anyway I have been looking seriously for some employment and have yet to find anything. I did spend a good 3 weeks selling fireworks and being in the heat without a water hose... but that is a post in itself. I am just enjoying my lax summer with my baby. I pointed out earlier that it was the first summer that I have actually been able to maintain a tan due to the fact that I was not stuck in an office all day. I must say I quite enjoy not having to hear you talk about laying out or going shopping while I stared at a computer screen. However being unemployed, the shopping has definitely ceased. I just hope I get the job next to you so that we can have our lunch time together. Uhh excuse me where is the announcement of this glorious job? Who would have thought that you would beat me to the employment market? (I am going to have to get used to talking to you via blog again)

Stella: You know that beloved vampire of yours had his first big role in H.P. as Cedric Diggory. I'm surprised you haven't watched it for that reason alone. Anyway, I was going to write another blog on my big announcement. But since you already alluded to it, I have agreed to work with one of my old friends at the new Outlets opening up at a little girl's store. More on that later.... I just want to say one thing to you now that we are back to blogging. A lot is two words. It is NOT alot. That is one of the things that drives me absolutely crazy and that I have to go back and correct in your writing A LOT. (ALSO, when you write things like this, the period goes inside the paranthesis.) (Like so.) (Not like this, which is usually how you do it). UNLESS you are writing for the newspaper or an academic paper, then a whole other set of rules apply and you do punctuate outside when you reference things (Cleary 345). That was just an example there of a citation. Sorry this has turned into a small lecture, but I just think if you could work on those two TINY simple little things we will have a much healthier and happier relationship. That is all....

Okay, now on to the J.O.B. Can you believe it? I have secured a job BEFORE Loki. Who has been supposedly searching for one since November. Meanwhile, I haven't been looking for anything at all but everyone knows I only accept jobs that people offer to me so when I was presented with this opportunity, I didn't have any other reason not to. Even though it is crappy, crappy pay (you can make more working at McDonald's) the location and hours are great. Not to mention, one of my bestest buds will be my boss. Plus, there's really no need for me & Bess to both just be sitting here all day together while even Bella is at Pre-K. (It's getting to be a little bit ridiculous I will admit myself.) And I gotta get myself out of this house every once & awhile.

So here I was earlier today.. real nervous about what to wear to our training meeting. And real nervous in general as I don't like leaving my comfort zone either. Well let's just say, that after today's meeting that's all gone. I am clearly the oldest person there and WAY over qualified. And when I say, "way over qualified" I mean that I have a college degree, 2 years of experience in retail as a manager, not to mention other numerous jobs & an ending pay at my last job that is never going to be achievable at any retail store. Oh, and the fact that every girl there (with the exception of one girl who works at a Dollar store- really classy that one) said that this was her first job! Some even said it with a little squeal. Another said it like this, "I'm so nervous my heart's beating out of my chest right now.. This is my first job too!" and looked down suddenly after turning bright red. I'm going to be working with babies!

And when I introduced myself as being 27, they GASPED. Yes, that's right. They gasped. The girl next to me even turned her head and opened her mouth. Geesh. I wish I knew why. Because I look so young with my chubby cheeks? Or because they think I look like death? My mother always told me that I would one day appreciate my chubby cheeks and the youthful look it would bring me. But for some reason, I get the impression that they thought I was a dinosaur. A real, live dinosaur sitting next to them in training for their first job. I imagine I probably scared some of them away.

On top of that, I was by far the best dressed. I even felt a little too overdressed because I wasn't wearing jeans & a graphic tee like most of them. Their clothes were RIDICULOUS. They are afterall only 16-18 years old, but they had just come from their interview so I am guessing that this is the best they can look? Yikes. Some of those girls need HELP! You couldn't pay me to wear any one of those outfits. Seriously. And they were all pretty hefty! (Okay, they were FAT. I just didn't want to sound like a total snob. But that's a fact and hefty just doesn't quite describe it the same.) The one exception was a girl who had the body of a 10 year old boy. (She was 16 of course & probably a "late bloomer." haha) So wow. This is going to be interesting. Maybe I'll be able to help some of them with a book report over Harry Potter this year. That is, if they have learned how to read yet...

Loki: Haha I dont think I have anything to add to that wonderful story about your old self. I can't believe you took the job but I wish you all the luck in your babysitting adventures.

WELCOME BACK FANS! WE'VE MISSED YOU! TELL US WHAT YOU'VE BEEN BUSY DOING THIS SUMMER BESIDES PRAYING FOR OUR RETURN!