Thursday, March 3, 2011

Panties! Glorious Panties!

Stella: My daughter has been shortening her words lately. Instead of calling her grandma "Hiya" she is now "Hi." Or if she's talking about her cheetah, she'll just say "chee." And instead of saying "panties" (or my favorite "panty loons,") she just calls them "loons." The Man Child is mortified (as usual) when I yell at her to go get some clean loons. Or if she happens to be running around naked with the loons on her head. Haha. Speaking of glorious panties, word has it that the Cougar hosted a panty party this past week. (Like a dirty Santa exchange.) Bess text me while at the party that the house was decorated all cute & that the Cougar had hung panties on clothes lines everywhere. "That's cute," I thought. And then I began to think some more... What kind of panties did she hang up? I don't think I'd want to look at someone else's drawers spread out around the house. You wouldn't want to hang up your old granny panties, nor would you want to hang up super sexy, seductive ones... Then I concluded that was a very weird thing to do and was a little embarrassed. Later Bess came home and I confronted her about what kind of underpants the Coug displayed. Turns out, they were made of construction paper! Whew. Sigh of relief. Yes, that is cute.

Loki: Yes, the decorations sounded very cute and festive. I am sure we would be impressed and hope she took pictures. Speaking of undergarments, Stella was over at my house working out with me... (ie. forcing me to do the evil sadistic BOB workout.) While I was trying to keep up with Stella, I also had Bella watching and critiquing me! She would rat me out anytime I tried to take a breather or if I was not doing the move correctly. Hmmmm.... wonder where she picked that up! Stella had gotten pretty sweaty during this time and she kept blaming it on the "sauna" of a house...but in actuality it was only 70 degrees in here and the window was open to let the cold breeze in. Anyway, after about an hour of her walking around in a soaking wet bra she asked if I had any "small" bras that she could borrow. We do not have the same chest size, but I am pretty sure I had one that would fit. Lo and behold, she had a choosing of some since I save everything and had several old tiny bras still in my possession. She held one of them up and exclaimed, "Why do you have this? It wouldn't even fit your nose!" She insisted that I never wore the thing. I did! I did! I even had the matching underwear. It is probably 4 sizes too small for me now... and why did I hang on to it all this time you ask? I am my mother's daughter.

Stella: I am not exaggerating when I say that I've never even seen a boob small enough to fit in this bra. It was the silliest thing I've ever seen for Loki to have, the woman with boobs the size of my head. It must have been your training bra from when you were 10. Gee, I don't even know when girls start wearing bras. I guess in 5+ years I will be an expert about these things. And instead of talking about a 4 year old who knows proper workout techniques, we can be blogging about my pre-tween and how she was horrified at me giving her a bra to wear just like I was when my mother bought one for me. Yikes. Let's not. Let's hope I have something wonderfully exciting in my life to be doing at that point. Not that I don't enjoy wasting time writing out these little quips to please my family. I just don't want to deal with puberty. Ugh. But by then, Aunt Small Town will have recently dealt with her TomGirl on this subject and can give me some good pointers. Why do they call it a training bra anyway? It doesn't teach anything. So you're training to have to wear one the rest of your life?

Loki: How funny, Stella. Don't think about such things now. Just enjoy the sweet, little, somewhat-bossy, 4 year old that you have. Let's not forget the dorky stage that we all went through...which I think happens before the training bra. Or maybe it's all at the same time. How sad. I don't remember the training bra. I mean I am sure I had one, but I was excited to become a woman. Haha.. I wanted big boobs! Wish granted.  I don't know what I was thinking. How nice to not have to wear a bra. I think that is one reason I wouldn't mind getting a boob job...because I don't think you HAVE to wear one. I was more traumatized jean shopping as a teen and realizing I had HUGE hips. Of course, looking back I was a bean pole. But I felt very hippy. Jean shopping illicited crying profusely even at 13.... and to this day a tear or two drops when I try to find new jeans. Sigh. Does it ever stop? I think not. Anyway, back on subject. I hate to admit it, but I am bad about not buying myself new underwears and bras. I typically wear them out or until I have either Bess or Stella in a dressing room with me and they forbid me to put that bra back on. This usually starts a bra search and then they make me throw the one I had on in the trash can right there in the store for fear I will take it home and try to wear it again. Can I also tell you that yesterday I put on one of my expensive push up Victoria Secrets bra and after about an hour I realized that my entire boob was falling out. I guess it was still too small. It makes me sad. I haven't technically stopped breast feeding so hopefully when I do my boobs will shrink a little more so that I don't have to buy a whole new bra wardrobe.

Stella: Let's say boobs just one more time. Boobs, bras, panties, panties, panties. Okay, done.

What are your favorite panties!?


  1. I have to go back a long time ago. As a child of 11 perhaps I got 7 pair of panties with the day of the week on them. I loved them. Plus I had seven pair to change out instead of the boring white ones we usually had. Like Loki my hips never fit into bikini type like Small Town could wear. And my mother took my sister out to get a bra because I needed one and she felt since sister was older it would make her mad if I came first. She was already mad at me because I got "Aunt Betsy" first. lol. End of post.

  2. Oh what a glorious subject! I got goose bumps even BEFORE I saw my name!! I don't know why but I LOVE panties! I always have! A few years back I wore ONLY matching sets. If my shirt was red, my panties/bras were too! Green; green... I had so many! Fast forward..I still have those sets but I don't usually wear them. However, last night I went to dinner and wore a dress and wore matching set under...felt so cutsie! I'm odd, I know! Bess and Choc Chip will tell you about my panty collection. It was over 220 pr. but I weeded it down. (still over 125) I suppose it is a sickness. Maybe I need Dr. Drew or to be on a hoarder show?? Okay..the party. Oh how much fun! I did indeed take pics and I saved the decorations for next years 2nd anual panty party! Can't wait!! The decorations were simply fabulous! I will be glad to text you the Then, we all had to slip a pr on over our jeans and take a group pic for memory sake. It was fun 'stealing' others cute panties, like dirty santa. We were "giggling and laughing!" ..Choc Chip, name that movie quote!

  3. Glorious panties! ha/ha... The panty party WAS a sucess.. much fun and can't wait to go again next year! The decorations WERE fabulous! I just am not the pampering type and just make due with what undies are in my drawers... so I need to start splurging and replacing the olds with more news.. ha/ha... Glad to have shared that with the world!

  4. I'm never letting Loki be in charge of pictures again. I DON'T GET IT. What possessed you to pick out these terrible photos?