I have noticed a big increase in pregnancy among my friends (mostly those on fb) but more depressingly miscarrying. I know that this is unfortunately just apart of life, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. Miscarriage would be much easier to cope and understand if a weight of silence did not hang over the topic. I understand that it is an uncomfortable thing to discuss. There are crazy statistics concerning miscarriage in that it happens in about 40 % of pregnancies. That is a scary number if you ask me. 1 in 4 pregnancies will end in miscarriage. I am not an expert of the subject but I have suffered through one. I don't even know how to begin to describe the feeling. I can't even begin to imagine women who have to endure more than one. I do know that with all things, time heals.Well God heals. Time helps. I don't understand the reason...the purpose...the need that we have to go through such things. I guess God is the only one who knows. He must need some more angels is all I can think of. Doctors can not explain such things either. I mean medically there was an incomplete set of chromosomes or irregular something or other. Gee....that makes me feel better. But of course the only thing I wanted to know was..WHY?! I mean tell me what I did! I had started going to the gym right after I got pregnant. Of course this is the thing I thought caused my miscarriage. The doctor told me otherwise however it still scared me to work out when I got pregnant again. For me I thought that maybe something else was wrong, that I wasn't able to carry a child to term. I just wanted a baby so badly and the thought of even starting over to possibly end the same was devastating. Statistically of course that wasn't going to happen. Statistics schmistics. No one cares about statistics. You also don't want people coming out of the wood works telling you about their miscarriage. I mean I guess it helps to know that you aren't the only one to go through it. But my pain is my pain. I still have the one ultrasound picture I was given with my first pregnancy. I don't really know what to do with it though. I don't know if I am supposed to forget about it. Keep it somewhere? Not think about it again? I am sure that it is a greater loss when there was more development. I can't fathom having to birth a stillborn. I have a child and I think losing a child vs a 9 week pregnancy can not be compared. I am getting off track here. I just wanted to share a bit of information that I had. I guess to put it out there that this happens more than we think. It is a loss that is hard to explain and a loss that is hard to comprehend. You are losing the hopes and dreams that you had for this child. I am sure this is equally hard for the dad to go through as well but I think it resonates deeper with the woman. Only because it is your body that has to experience the loss. You have to feel actual physical pain and know what is causing that pain. It is something that would still scare me if I were to get pregnant today. Once you reach your second trimester your chance of miscarriage dramatically decreases... but for me I wasn't sure until I had her. This was one thing I am always shocked to see people peeing on a stick and then immediately posting it on facebook that they are pregnant! I always think about how it may not turn out the way you hope and then you have to inform everyone if you do happen to lose the baby. I mean on the other hand I get it. You are excited and want to share with everyone. And of course you shouldn't go around and worrying and expecting the worse to happen and I guess if it does at least you can get friend's support and/or prayer if needed.There isn't a right or wrong way to deal with such things. Children are a miracle and a true blessing. I will meet my unborn child in heaven one day.
Love love and kisses and hugs to anyone who needs it.
Well said Loki. From someone who knows and I agree it is an unspoken subject no one wants to talk about, but sometimes that is exactly what is needed.
ReplyDeleteOne of my best friends miscarried and it was devastating for her! I remember us going to the lake a couple of months after it happened and she saw a pregnant woman and she just broke down crying and said, "I should look like that!" Never having experienced a miscarriage myself (and never having had anyone else around me experience it) I didn't realize just how traumatizing it was for the mother. I just couldn't since I'd never faced it. I just hugged her and cried with her. It was very sad. She did go on to have two other children. She always knew she would meet her baby one day in heaven and now she has. Your post is touching Loki. I am sorry you had to go through that.
ReplyDeleteGood post, Loki. And something I never had to endure either. It takes maturity and God's help/strength to go on as you have and I am comforted that you now have Baby Blue. I had a young friend who had to deliver a 9 month old stillborn and she somehow got through it, and had another. I can't imagine the nerves going through another pregnancy unless you know God and He is the only one that can be there for you. There are no words to say at that time, except "I'm so sorry" and Thank God, you were able to have Baby Blue. And we are so thankful.
ReplyDeletethanks saysha...i needed that.
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