Obsessed Twi-Hard

Dear Twilight,
I want to be able to just like you like a normal person. I wish I could have only read the books once and seen the movies once… Or had the ability to wait until they came out on demand. That way I could have moved on with my life and never thought about you again. Sadly, that did not happen. I am ridiculously obsessed with you. I have read you 6 times… okay, 7 times (alright, maybe 8 times) … Just way too many to admit to and then claim to be sane. I haven’t been able to read you since I had my baby, and I’m afraid I will refer to the time when I was childless as “back when I was able to read Twilight over and over!”

I even read about you daily on other websites and Twilight related blogs. I constantly quote some of these websites like they are my own inside jokes. I can reference you in any given situation or conversation. I own 3 shirts that claim my love for you, and the last time I bought a new one I tried to hide it from my husband.

I listen to your soundtracks all the time. I can replay each scene from the movies or books in my head to every song. “Possiblities” …that’s too easy. “Never Think”- well duh, it’s the background music during the restaurant scene when Edward confesses to be able to “hear” people. I’m actually relieved that not many songs from your Eclipse soundtrack showed up in the movie, (although this really upset Stella.) I hate that if I hear any other random song on the radio I wonder, “Is this how Bella feels?” “Does Edward remember the time when…” or “If Jacob…” (uhh nevermind- I don’t think about Jacob.) Then I force myself to remember that the song I am currently listening to has nothing to do with Twilight and that I’ve let my mind wander again…

I hate that I am weirdly aware of all the other on-going projects each Twilight actor/actress is involved in. Maybe it’s because I pretend like they are my friends. I even talk about them that way.. “Did you hear what Rob said the other day?” or “I cant believe KStew wore that!” I read or watch all of their countless interviews even though, let’s face it… they all say the same thing. Every interviewer asks the same thing, but I still find them so entertaining that I have to pass on the information to anyone who claims to be a Twi fan.

I don’t like having this obsession. It weirds me out and quite frankly, it scares my husband Big T. You know, the real husband. Not the pretend one, Robward (Robert Pattinson/Edward.) Maybe this obsession will wane once people stop writing about you everywhere I look or once I quit seeing your face on my TV telling me that I can go see your movies AGAIN… And I’m already going to have to wait until Christmas before the next DVD can be in my hands. Until then, I have to cope by reading other people’s opinion of you…

Obsessed Twi-Hard,
Loki
Dear Twi-Hard Lover Loki, Much like you, I did enjoy the Twilight books. But unlike you, I have only read the books once (and that was 2 years ago.) I have found that this has allowed me to engage in Twi-conversations with you without being overly obsessive about the people who pretend to be them on screen. I have a few questions I would like to ask you (or any therapist would for that matter..)

1. How much time do you devote to all things Twi-related? Do you write letters to fictional books/people often?

2. Do you secretly wear your Twilight t-shirts at home when Big T is gone and find yourself running to change when you hear him pull into the drive?

3. Do you see other human beings at the grocery store and wonder if maybe they are vampires or werewolves? (If so, do you think anyone we know is a potential candidate to be an immortal?)

4. Have you ever had a paper cut and tried to suck the blood from yourself just to see what it’s like?

Please be honest and open. We’re all family here.

The sane Twi-lover,
Stella (GO TEAM JACOB)

Did you answer YES to any of the above? Show Loki some love. She needs the support.