Status Update

Loki: So I went to a pool party with some friends from high school this weekend. I haven’t seen most of them since high school, (which has almost been 10 years now,) but I am friends with most of them on Facebook. So the conversation was tricky because I had to listen to them talk and then ask the appropriate follow up questions.. But the whole time I’m thinking to myself, “I already know this… You put it on facebook last week…”

In fact, I know more about them now than I did in high school! I just don’t know how you are supposed to act when you already know exactly what they are talking about. They would ask me silly questions like “Oh, is this your baby?” Well, yeah, don’t you look at my facebook albums and the millions of pictures I post of her? But maybe they don’t stalk other people online like I do! Maybe they actually only update their own profiles and never look at the newsfeed that tells you about everything that is going on in everyone’s lives! Or maybe they just “hide” me because I’m the annoying person they are tired of reading about on their feed!

Stella: Hmm.. Well if you didn’t pretend like you didn’t know what they were talking about then every response would have been “yeah, I saw that on facebook” or “yes, I read about that on fb.” Then they wouldn’t even want to waste time talking to you because they would know what a horrible loser you are sitting online all day stalking people on fb! Haha. Just kidding. Facebook is an addicting thing… I read that out of every 3 minutes spent online, at least 1 minute is spent on fb or some statistic like that that is supposed to shock you and let you know what a worldwide phenomenon it is. But when you do sit in front of a computer all day long at work, you can’t help but wondering if someone post something new for you to look at! You just have to pretend that you don't have time to look at it very much... You are much too important than that!

Also, I think that fb will make high school reunions obsolete. Why would you need to go when you can already see what people look like- who got fat- who got fake boobs- who had kids and needs fake boobs- what stupid names they named their kids… You can even see every vacation picture that person has taken in the past 10 years!

Loki: Well yes, exactly! I mean I’m obviously not very good friends with these people that we call each other with news or something. But on fb, you are friends with all these people that you normally wouldn’t see until your high school reunion. I mean, if I see a person at a store that I wouldn’t even say hello to, then we don’t need to be friends on fb. That’s why I went through and deleted a lot of those type “friends.” Then you have those people who constantly ask to be your friend.. and seriously, I ignore their request every time, but I finally just say okay, fine, whatever… and then NOTHING happens once we are friends. Not an email or a wall post… or a “Hello, how are you?” So what do you do when one of these acquaintances tells you happy birthday or comments on a picture? Don’t you feel obligated to do the same back?

Stella: Yes, I always feel obligated! Clicking “Like” is by far the easiest way to return the favor and acknowledge the person. Then you don’t even have to say anything, but you can pretend to be interested in something they did. Let’s see… The last thing I clicked “like” on was someone’s status that read: “Monday... Why must you come so soon??” Why would I click on that you might ask… Well, I’m just a nice person. Or maybe I just agree with the fact that the weekends are always too short. Sometimes you can't explain what compels you to click.

I agree with the fact that you shouldn’t be friends with someone you wouldn’t even talk to in person, but some of the people on there are just too hard to delete. Like the ones who post all of their retarded drunken pictures that you can’t help looking at! Even if the whole time you are thinking how much they need to grow up or how sloppy and what bad taste it is… You still look. Ah, facebook. I hate you sometimes. Much like I hated high school.

Who do you stalk on facebook???