PUMP IT UP

Loki: I knew that when I chose to breastfeed my Baby Blue that I would also I have to pump when I went back to work. At first I was confused as to where this would take place in the office. I thought I was going to have to sit on the bathroom floor for an hour each day pumping. That would be awkward for people who just needed to go pee. "Uh, sorry. I'm still not done in here!” (Did you know that by law your employer has to supply you a place to pump in private other than the bathroom?) Not to mention the walls in the office are paper thin and you would be able to hear that lovely "HeeeHa, HeeHa" sound the breast pump makes. So since we work in an old historical house that has been converted into an office, there is a basement downstairs that used to be a small apartment. But it is like a loft space, which means there are no doors. There is a section that you can be closed off with one of those accordion divider walls… which works nicely because there is an outlet and a couch on the other side. However, the refrigerator is also included in that enclosed space.

So now that you have heard all about where I have to go to extract milk for my beloved child, I can not tell you how many times my boss, Plugs, comes down there while I am pumping. (Plugs is Sparky's dad who is supposed to be retired and moving on with his life, but work is his life so that is impossible for him to do.) He will knock on the partition and ask if he can come in because somehow there is always something in the fridge that he needs to get to IMMEDIATELY. No, he can't just wait for 20 minutes until I am done. Do you know how mortifying it is to talk to your 70 year old boss while your boobs are hanging out getting sucked on by a pump? Seriously. He asks if he can come in like he doesn’t know what I am doing down here.

Stella: He is just an impatient old man who lives in his own world. Although he should take 2 seconds to stop and think about what you may actually be doing in there. What does he need out of the fridge anyway? The pack of cokes he stuck in there and labeled "Do not drink- Management" as if we don't all know who they belong to???

Loki: It's even more awkward when the boss man Sparky comes downstairs for his shower (after going to the gym in the morning- see previous blog on this topic) because this always happens to be around the same time as my morning pump. So we are both down there in the basement... me pumping and him showering... only a few partitions in the way. I really don’t know which one is more uncomfortable- being barged in on by Plugs or listening to Sparky getting clean for the day. Needless to say, it is getting a bit ridiculous.

Stella: What's ridiculous is that I am upstairs trying to concentrate on important matters while all this is going on! Listening to the running water of the showers and noise of the breast pump... How am I supposed to work in this environment? I can't even begin to concentrate! (Okay, I really can't hear the pumping but I'm still like to rant about this showering business, and my work is so easy to do it doesn't require much concentrate. Really none at all.)

Loki: Well, it is a good thing that Sparky has a wife who is also breastfeeding right now so he actually gets it unlike his dad. But that doesn’t mean he needs to tell people about it! I came up from one of my pump sessions, and while I was out he had told someone who was looking for me what I was really doing. Ummm... that’s not very professional! (By the way, the person he told was an old cranky woman who doesn't have children, and she thought it was TMI!) Can I just say b feeding—I don’t like using the word breast so much...

Stella: Maybe you should say milk jugs instead of breast. That is indeed what they are.


Our question of the day was going to be: what kind of milk do you like? Chocolate? Strawberry? Plain? Or fresh from the breast?

But instead, for our official 10th post celebration, here is a random Sam Bradford sighting at the airport!!! Can I get a what what?!