My Angel

Loki: I am just sitting here holding my Baby Blue while she snuggles against my chest, thumb in her mouth and my shirt collar in her mouth. I haven't "accomplished" much today around the house. I have not even opened the computer to look for employment options... But right now, I don't ever want to leave here. I don't need to have a corporate office overlooking the city. I don't need a business card or be able to travel on trips to wonderful cities, only to sit and listen to some speaker talk about some other silly "new" thing that we need to do to make our profit margin larger. I know that not everyone can stay home with their kids, nor does everyone want to, (for which I cannot understand.) But this is the life I imagined for myself. I know that this will not last forever. At some point, I will need to get another job. I know that Baby Blue will grow up and continue to become independent. I just don't want to think about such times right now. I am trying to enjoy every moment I have right now and the fun things she is learning to do. Like how she crawls everywhere, but will randomly stand up in the middle of the floor like she is just going to take off in a dead sprint. She usually gets a few steps in, falls down, and crawls a few more... only to stand up again. I like how she pulls my shirt up to get to the nursing... How she has to be sitting up or smashing her whole entire face into my boobs to nurse. I have no idea how she even breathes...but that's what she likes! I love how I can start singing anything, and she will immediately smile at me and start swaying, (which is her dancing.) I love how she blabbers all day like she is just talking my head off, and then will randomly scream "DA DA DA!" I love that she throws herself backwards on the couch as a game we play... or how she crawls to a pillow and lay down on it, and she just laughs and laughs. She chases the dog around the house and loves to attack him. She crawls into the kitchen, where she stands up and pushes her highchair around. I love how we say "no" she will look up and stop doing what she is doing for just a split second... until she continues on. If that "NO" was to something she was putting into her mouth, she will stop and hand it over and it sounds like she says, "here". These are just a few examples of what I love about her right now at 9 months.... I wouldn't get to enjoy these moments as much if I were busy working or driving to one grandma's house or the other to pick her up..  Just in time to get home and make dinner... and then bath and before you know it, it's bed time and she is asleep. I was not given this child to only see her 3 days a week. While I feel sorry for Big T most of the time, I just cannot make myself feel bad about being unemployed.

NanaBess:  I LOVED reading this and am so glad to "guest banter" today.  It thrills my heart and soul to read how much you enjoy staying home with the wee one.  I am not going to encourage you to get out there and work.  After the message in church yesterday, I think we Americans are far too rich and could get by with much less.  Sure, it is nice to have lots of STUFF.. but really, the only stuff you need is clothing and shelter and food, and we all have plenty of that.  You have that without your job or even a "part time job".  I lived so many years going from pay check to pay check, and I do remember going without much and even just wanting to "have enough to pay the bills".  God was so good to provide, and we never went without food or shelter and eventually, we had extra money for this or that.  I pray for Big T and his "thinking". :)  That God will change his priority and get on board with having Mommy home to take care of Baby Blue is PRICELESS (and go without those energy drinks and fast food for a while.) It can be done with Big T's help and support. YOU can do it LOKI! 

Loki: Yes, as mentioned before, it is not my wish to get a job. I would gladly stay home and never think about getting a job until maybe I didn't have a wee one to watch all the time. Big T will occasionally remark about having a housewife and of course, I get excited and think that he is okay with me not finding employment, but then out of nowhere we will get in arguments about it because I am not trying "hard enough" to find a job.. Sigh, It is never ending discussion. Do I please myself or my husband? I love this life... I don't need things. I have always said this... Big T was raised differently, and 'things' have always been important. It is still amazing to me how much your childhood can shape your life. Yes, good sermon yesterday and of course, I wished my husband would have heard it as well. When I do look for a job I am all about how much it pays..and haven't found too many that I think are good enough for me... so maybe I just need to get one whatever the pay?? Big T  has been so busy he hasn't been home except to sleep in the last 5 weeks...until today. It's nice having a day together... I made waffles for the baby and him (I did not partake...and had my egg beaters instead..gak) and then him and Blue snuggled on the couch for 45 minutes. It was sweet. He is even tolerating my ipod music today because it makes Blue dance. Okay on to play the Kinect some more (Gma Mod- it is essentially a Wii...but for XBOX and you do not have to use a control) ..Did I mention that I am going to win this biggest loser?

Nana Bess:  Yes.. you are going to win!  It has not been a very good effort over here.  Stella quit the first week and didn't even try and is baking Christmas cookies and toffee bars and buying egg nog and ice cream.  Yes, yes, tis the season to be jolly!  What were we thinking trying to diet during this season?  I did good the first week and lost 3 and 1/2 pounds!  THEN, went a day or two without exercising and started to eat bread... and a cookie or a piece of peanut brittle here or there and today I stepped on the Wi and it said, "You gained 1.3 lbs this week!"  :(  ah boo!  And although Computer man lost 7 the first week, I have witnessed him munching down on the available sweets - he has NO self control!  This should be an easy win for you.. but all it will take is for Stella to engage in January... (or whenever she kicks in) and then LOOK OUT.. we shall all do MUCH better!  Hum... I just thought I could step on the treadmill and walk a bit today... I have a book to read to pass the time.  OH.. did I tell you Stella is at this moment reading "The Hunger Games?" ha/ha.. (yes, I shoved the book in her face earlier when she complained of having nothing to do today)...

Loki: Yay, I am very excited that she is reading the Hunger Games. I wonder what she will think about the ending! How funny we all have such different opionions. I am about Eclipsed out... I've re-watched the movie, or had it playing in the background every day it seems like. I have listened to both commentaries too. I have had plenty to do today!! Somehow I always have things to do.... It would be hard for me too to not partake in Stella's baking... I am still confused why she quit. Oh well, thats 10 bucks for me. :) I lost 4 lbs the first week and I bet I matched that last week. I need to weigh on the Wii again or maybe just wait until the ending. Batman says he is going to give me a run for my money... We will see. I am beginning to think this banter is turning into a snooze as Stella would say....but I cant think of anything humorous to say at the moment....I just applied to be someone's personal assistant! (probably not the best job for me...but it advertised as a stay at home...so we will see)

Nana Bess:  When you say a personal assistant I can't help of think of Elaine and Mr. Pitts! ha/ha (for all you Seinfeld lovers out there!)... she had to go shopping for him and buy him white knee socks.  It made for a very funny show... I can't see you doing that with Baby Blue.. ha/ha... Yeah, I am sure Stella will lable this banter boring, but it was fun doing it anyway.  I am glad you are having a nice day with Big T and enjoying staying home.  God will open the door for the perfect part time job.. I am praying! :)  Oh, and I didn't see Batman turning down Gma Old Fashion's tin of candy after lunch yesterday...But he is dying to start playing basketball again.. so maybe he is thinking all the exercise will pay off?  hum.... well, time for me to hit the treadmill...
What would you make your personal assistant do?