E.T. PHONE HOME

Loki: As usual, I have nothing else to talk about except my baby...and we all know how entertaining that is. She did just dunk my NEW phone in a cup of water. Apparently the phone looked thirsty. However, my phone has been revived...because it spent 24 hours in a bag of rice. My SIL has always sworn this works so I decided to try it. I guess the rice is able to suck out all the water from the tiny crevaces. Hooray! I am back in business and can now resume Words with Friends. (or really just get annoyed at TMC for cheating.)

Stella: Did you know that my phone is from 2006? That's right. I got it when Bella was a newborn babe. In fact, I still have photos of her on there when she was so teeny tiny. Aw, those were the days. I've been seeing all these darling little black children lately and I just want one so bad. Is that strange or what? Maybe I know my child-bearing years are rapidly coming to a close. The only thing that would make me nervous about raising a little black girl would be her hair. I mean, I've always had awful hair. And I feel that I wouldn't know how to calm or maintain that kind of hair either. I've given this quite a bit of thought. It wouldn't be the whole "you're a different color than Mommy" aspect that worries me or the fact that Saucy would think she stinks no matter what I did to her... Just the hair. Wow. I went way off topic just like you, Loki. Okay, back to the phones. I washed my new phone 2 years ago and that is why I am still using my old phone. No one told me about the rice trick. But I'm sure after a complete wash cycle, the phone was dead forever and no amount of rice could fix it. However, I am eligible for an upgrade in a few weeks and I have NO IDEA how to use a touch phone. They are still like 'from the future' to me. And I still don't understand how people can touch those tiny buttons on the screen with their fat fingers. I'm going to have to take lessons. I prefer my Katana flip phone that was manufactured in the dark ages.

Loki: Seriously, it will be like a whole new world for you. Don't worry it won't take you long and you will wonder how in the world you put up with your 2006 phone so long. I am excited to be able to send you pictures or play games with you. I am sure Bella will be an expert at it too. It is funny that you mentioned baby pictures because just yesterday Blue and I were playing on Big T's old phone and he had all these little 30 second videos of my sweet little baby and I just can't believe how big she is. I am really getting baby fever now. You could adopt a little black baby.  How fun that would be! Or you could marry a black man and then you would have a MIL to teach you. I would worry about the hair too, but you would learn I am sure. I know its like a culture thing...the black woman's hair. Chris Rock even made a movie about it.... about hair that is. I am getting annoyed because all week people have referred to me as being 30 or "about to be 30." I am not 30. I am 28. That's quite old enough for me. I feel like 30 is my baby deadline. (Yes, I know technically or physically its not but to me it is).

Stella: I'm hoping that since Blondie's BFF is now a Thunder girl she can hook me up with a date with Kevin Durant. I'm all about the male athletes that make over $50 million. Geesh. I'd buy you a house. I'd buy you 2 houses. And then you wouldn't have to go live at the farm in your broom skirt.  I don't want to even think about being 30. I've got one year left to find a man (where?!) and then two years left to bear children and then life is over. So don't talk to me about time running out! Anyway, speaking of phones, my pen pal tells me that now she is back home she is way conscious of saying that she is going to "phone" someone. I had told her that here we say we're gonna call or talk... We don't "phone" people. Haha. I think that is funny.

Loki: You just don't understand how real the farm is becoming. It is worrying me a little if I do say so myself. I would also like to say that because I am now ready to have another child, I, for some reason seem to think I am pregnant all the time. It is annoying me. And you too I am sure! I do not want to have to go through this again. (Let alone that we aren't even trying yet.) I told Bess that I am not going to say or think I am pregnant until I can feel kicking. Perhaps I will end up on "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant." Blue will have to learn to help her momma birth a baby ...because I will be stuck at the farm with no one to come and get me. Surely that will make the show... I am all for you marrying a PRO athlete. Dad would be so proud. Your grandparents may not...but that would probably be the only way you could marry a black man, they may over look it!

Also, I just bought a giant box of Tampax tampons at Sam's and I hate them. I usually buy Kotex and these are horrible. I have to go through like 500 of them before I can buy the ones I like. Note to self: Don't buy anything in bulk unless you love it. Pregnancy could not come fast enough.

Stella: Gross. You should donate them to the teen mothers. haha.

How many people think Loki will live at the farm? I say there's a 2% chance.