Saucy: I am a mushy, mopey mommy. As I wake in the morning, I stumble out of bed at the urging of my dear little boy’s whimpers in the room next door. I swoop him up and return right back to my bed, shove my nipple into his ravenous mouth, and close my eyes for a feeble attempt for just 5 more minutes of my precious sleep. Meatball won’t here of more sleep, and poops to let me know I am required to get out of bed or smell the horrendous odor in my dreams. Ah, the day has begun. I go lay him down for a little bit of play time….or for 2 minutes until he realizes I have left; and as I groggily walk to the bathroom I take one look in the mirror, glancing myself over, up and down, I notice my chipmunk like cheeks storing up nonexistent food in them covered in red dots that I haven’t seen for a couple years, my boobs are trying to reach for my knees to say hello, there is mush hanging off what most people take pride in calling “abs”. OH and don’t forget the lovely looking claw marks all down my stomach and the insides of my thighs. It looks like I got attacked by an angry kitty. I proceed to play on my laptop (aka facebook) for a while to notice bio dad’s oh so classy status updates of hooters’ girls, clubbing, and how in love he is with his gf, and my absolute personal favorite, “living the life of a father”. The weekend comes around and I dream of $500 shopping sprees, western dancing, dinner and a movie at warren, when all of a sudden the reality of unemployment strikes me across my oily ole’ face! So instead I go to wally world and do some grocery shopping and get to admire all the wonderful little children with their mommies and daddies, and think to myself “oh im so glad MY son gets to have a daddy like that too” ……………………okay, I’m done.
Eyes of Blue: I am a whiney, wimpy workaholic. WAA WAA WAA. Every morning is like groundhog day. I jump out of bed in a panic because I am conditioned to snooze my 3 alarms for 30 minutes until I realize I somehow turned them off in my sleep and now have less than 45 minutes to shower, get ready, make my lunch, and leave. When will I ever learn to wake up like a normal person? That may sound like plenty of time...but I beg to differ since I stare at my disaster zone closet for an unmentionable amount of time with absolutely nothing to wear. Let me just say that you DO NOT want to see me like this. I hate finding clothing. I need someone to please be my personal shopper and to have all my outfits in order by day so all I have to do is put it on and go. By the time I give up and put something ugly on, I’m in an awful mood and speed to work in a rage. Welp, I made it to work in one piece and it’s time to begin my day. I make a huge pot of coffee and check my email. If my to-do pile didn’t triple in size over the weekend like it usually does, I check my facebook newsfeed to see it clogged with lake pictures and amazing summer plans. That must be the life. After I gulp down two cups of coffee, I'm ready to conquer the day. The phone rings off the hook the entire day with crazy people wanting more information about a house they don’t know what the address is. I think it's a bit unfortunate that you have to smoke to get a break around here these days. The realtors I work with can be entertaining, but are extremely needy and like to use me as their own personal complaint department every time they come in. I rather enjoy it usually. It makes the day go by faster and it's much better than being stuck alone in a hole... aka cubical.