That Don't Impress Me Much

Stella: Today I had to tell Nana Bess that the term "shorty" is used as a reference for women/a girlfriend. But pronounced like “shaw-ty.” Now she's trying to sing things and use the word "shorty" in them. Not pretty. We are bonding together while watching the top 100 Country Music Videos marathon on CMT… It has been a very educational experience for me as well. For example, I learned that my mother thinks men with big blonde mustaches are sexy… (Alan Jackson anyone?) And also that Shania Twain can't sing (and I quote Nana) "without her crotch being wide open." Lovely. Did you also know that Dwight Yoakam wore skinny jeans before skinny jeans were popular and Blake Shelton used to have a mullet that was almost as disgusting as Billy Ray's… It’s been quite an eventful morning.

Loki: You have too much time on your hands. Meanwhile, I am slaving away here at work trying to catch up on all this work. Why am I blogging then you might ask? Because I need a break! I even worked through my lunch hour (like I do most days) but right now, I am about to scream! We really work with stupid people… Ah- there my rant is done. Stella did try to keep up my work while I was out sick, but for some reason we are getting slammed right now. I think now that the weather has turned cold people must feel the need to insure themselves. Also, I am pretty sure the term shorty has been a hip-hop term for a long time now… I didn’t even know Shania Twain was still around though. My best friend’s dad in the 7th grade was in love with Shania. He used to talk about her all the time and it used to freak me out. She married her producer named Mutt. (I actually think they are divorced now.) But hello! What a name…MUTT. Oh, and I was going to also tell you that we had some friends over last night. They have 3 kids and the mother was telling me that Nickelodeon was not allowed on at her house. She said the teenage shows were “too sexualized” and then she mentioned your favorite show, icarly. I didn’t tell her that my 4 year old niece LOVES it! I hope Bella isn’t being introduced to inappropriate things!

Stella: You know I worked extremely hard to keep up with all of your crap all week while you were "sick.” I have nothing else to look forward to today but exercising and more delicious water. Since this was a countdown of videos there were several of Shania over the years. You know who else loves Shania Twain? The Cougar’s son. I don’t know if he still does but I would guess so. I went to her concert once with him & his gf at the time, Martha. Haha. Anyhow, I love the name Mutt. I am hoping to name my next child that. Not really. Bella will probably force me to name the child Sam or Carly. Yes, icarly is a ridiculous show. But it's not any more cheesy or unrealistic as Full House. And we grew up watching that crap. Besides Bella & I like to play “web show” together. We put on quite a production. Just ask Freddie, (aka The Man Child. We each get to take turns being the characters from the show.) He’s our pretend tech-producer. Just wait till your little butter ball likes things & you will be the same way.

Loki: Well, I don’t watch iCarly. I thought my friend was being silly calling the show “sexualized.” I have been thrown into one of those “web-shows” performances, and I think Bella boo’d me with her little sound remote. Obviously, she did not think my dancing was impressive. I guess my moves were not as snazzy as her Evs… or her Wii dance game.

Stella: There are few who can compete with Evs’ dance moves. (We call him Spencer though.) What else can be said?
“Shorty get down, good lord…”
“Shorty wanna ride with me?”
“Go shorty, it’s your birthday…”


Please describe your feelings on mustaches for us.