The Man Child Speaks

Stella: It is quite an interesting dynamic for me & my daughter to live at home with my parents & younger brother, The Man Child. Especially when he acts like a 4 year old himself and sticks his tongue out at Bella or does things just to irritate her (like sit in Nana Bess' lap.) In my mind, I have The Man Child stuck in the 5th grade. My mind cannot wrap itself around the fact that he is an adult... Does he qualify as an adult at age 19? Today I told him that I was going to have to ask him to leave the room when a program on tv was beginning and had the "may not be suitable for young children" warning at the beginning. Ha! Maybe he learned being a pest from me....

The Man Child: First of all, I do not like being referred to as The Man Child. Secondly, you say that like you didn't spend all day in Nana Bess' lap yourself whining and pleading for her to rub your aching ears. Third, I don't act like a 4 year old. Your daughter just treats me like one, much like her mother, and anything I do is construde to being a pest by Bella. I can be playing with her and the minute she gets bored I become the pest! Or I'm suddenly sitting in the wrong place. I'll just look at the girl and she'll stick her toungue out or try to correct me. I wonder what brings this behavior on? It can't be that she sees her mom doing it constantly, can it? "Look what you did you little Jerk!" (Home Alone)

Stella: Yes, you are more like Bella's brother than her uncle. Hence, she calls you "Bruncle." I was just dicussing with Loki the other day how you used to cry & make things up all the time when you were little just to get Batman in trouble. Loki says she always had to defend you from me & Batman. But I still think that you just got what was coming. You deserved every bit of it. And look how our bullying has shaped you into The Man Child that you are today. Also, I do enjoy lecturing and teaching you about the ways of the world. It is my job to relay this wonderful knowledge that I have so that you will be prepared to deal with any future girl who might come your way (or click on your Match.com profile.) Har har. Actually it is an ongoing joke around here about which one of us will move out first... People should start wagering money.

The Man Child: I'm so happy to know that whatever my future girlfriend does I will always be able to say "at least shes not as bad as my crazy sister." Although most of your teachings will only help me during those times when my wife has a mental breakdown and goes psycho! I do remember Loki protecting me from you bullies. More often then not, you would get into trouble but only when you had it coming. I think I'll move out first. I still have until I am 23 to move out (if I'm going by Batman's time table and when he moved out..) Wow, if that happens then that'll make you 30 and living with your parents! "Yes, I live with my mother... She happens to be a first class lady!" (Mr. and Mrs. Smith)

Stella: I have no shame in living at home! Just think of all the wonderful memories you will have of being so close to me each & every day. For example, today we spent much time bonding while I shared with you how I felt about commercials where the food is being personified... (i.e. the Frosted Mini-Wheats commercials where they talk & act like they lead lives in houses & wear shoes etc. I just cannot think of my food as a person.) I tell you these things to give your bleak little life some sunshine.

The Man Child: Well I'm happy you have no shame in living at home cause neither do I! I consider myself fortunate to live at home with my wonderful parentals for free! I'm saving up my money, and renting an apartment is a waste of money in my opinion! Yes, you were killing innocent candy corn people earlier! MURDERER! What did those poor little candy corns do to you but sit there and look delicious?...

Stella: They lived a noble life... and died for a worthy cause. They shall now rest in peace in my stomach. I'm so glad you could take time to stop watching Beauty & the Beast and come out of your room to join me for this chat by the way. Is there anything else you would like to say to the readers of Sister Banter? Who is The Man Child? Would you like to ask a rhetorical question about life like Loki does? Or do you want to write out a personal ad for us to make public to our large national audience (that consists of all family members)? Just tell me this.. If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?

The Man Child: Ha ha! I have not been watching Beauty & the Beast. I merely saw the commercial ad and could not recall the movie with the precise accuracy I am accustomed to with most movies! I just said that I would watch it with Bella sometime for reminising purposes. I think Batman got the better guest appearance on the blog because he got to talk about Seinfeld. I, on the other hand, had to defend myself from the gross injustices you have said about me on this blog. How I'm lazy and will do anything to get out of work, even though I have a manual labor job that you couldn't do on your best day! Also how I cannot flush a toilet when I can say that I'm quite an expert at flushing! I'm referred to as The Man Child when I do believe that I'm very mature. And yes, 19 is considered an adult! Just because you see me as a fifth grader doesn't make me have the maturity level of a fifth grader! As for the way I act towards Bella, I act the same way and play with the girl the same as every other adult she knows, but since you clearly don't see me as an adult neither does she! So in short, I blame YOU for the immaturity you so delicately described! Let me ask the audience this, do you have a sibling that treats you like you're still a child??

Stella: I must admit that you are clearly a better writer than Batman, who quotes songs in his college research papers... Talk about the worst writing skills in the family! But since you strive to be like Batman in every way possible, you still have to throw in your movie quotes as well. I'm surprised that there isn't a Batman shrine in your room. (No, not the real Batman. I'm referring to your brother.) And it appears you have had quite an ephiphany. Kudos to you. I usually get the last word in everything, but since I'm such a loving and caring older sister I will pass it on to you and bid you ado.

The Man Child: Ha. Well our brother has a rather nice life (besides being a bit crippled at the moment.) He has set a good example, in my opinion. But I think we both are really just like our father! My love for movies has always been there... But yes, I get my movie quoting abilities from Batman. Much like how I know all the angry girl songs from you! You forced me to listen a wide array of music especially during your teen years when you constantly had music blaring in your room! Although I think my father has led me to the rock of his youth! Therefore, I am a callaboration of our entire family's likes and hobbies... which I believe, makes me the most superior and most liked person out of the family!!!

Movie Quote Time! Name this movie...

"Your mood swings are starting to give me whiplash!"