Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Stella: We have most important news to discuss asap. So without further ado, it is with great pleasure and pride that I announce to all of our bantering fans that Loki & I will no longer be employed with B.H. (or whatever name we gave it to begin with.) Today, for the first time in my life I quit my job. I've been in the work force 10 years now and even when I was 9 months pregnant, I still handed in that 2 weeks notice... This definitely wasn't something I would normally even think to do. I've always been told that I should be glad that "I get to go to work." But today there was no being grateful for my miserable little job and I threw caution to the wind.... Twas a good day to quit my job and so I did. But not until after Loki got fired.

Loki: It's true, I was fired. It might be difficult to explain to the readers, but I'm sure you at least have somwhat of an idea of what sort of office we work in. This office is not professional. It is a family business where family politics come into play. Therefore, it can be a nasty place to work. They can essentially make up any reason they want for why you should be fired, and so you are. I have been working for this establishment for 5 and half years. It is the only "grown up" job I have ever had, and I have also worked there longer than any other job. I have seen many people leave this place over the years for silly and trivial reasons and have yearned to stage a walk out myself....But sadly, I never did. I would like to mention that out of nowhere our boss, Sparky, has been down my throat the last couple of weeks. I have no idea what I did to him, but he has not enjoyed my presence in that office...nor anything I did. I left early yesterday to go "vote." My work was done and I did forgo a lunch break so I had been there the required 8 hours. That and I was just ready to leave for the day. I have done this before, in fact, everyone comes and goes like this. We always get our work done and we work the alloted time frame we should.

Stella: I would like to interject that the "attendance" policy at this place is a joke.. P.R. comes in an hour later on the days she has a late "Pilates" class. Which you would think is every day since she rolls in half an hour late almost every day to begin with. Poodle has moved back her "start time" an hour later as well. Even Sparky himself stumbles into the office whenever he is done going to the gym in the morning & then proceeds to shower... There have been more than a handful of times that I have just stood up and said, "I'm leaving now" and left. Only Loki & Cha Cha are expected to have perfect attendance. (Because Loki is expected to run the office with perfection & ChaCha gets shoved in there just because the others are too lazy to answer the phone.)

Loki: But for some reason, me leaving on this particular day made Sparky really mad. I don't know why this day was different than any other day, but it was. I had asked earlier in the day to make it a permanant thing to leave early on Mondays or Tuesdays (working until 4 instead of 5 with no lunch break and everything done). He just said, "Don't you have enough time off on Fridays?" I suppose that because I get Fridays off, I owe him my first born. I replied to that nasty email with some of my reasonings and how I just thought I would ask and if it is not okay than no big deal....But he never replied. So this is what I think set him off....because I left anyway. I knew that he was not happy with me as he sent me mean text messages and left a nasty voicemail....Yet he would not pick up the phone when I called back... nor answer my text stating that I had just left the office and would gladly turn around and come back!!?

Stella: In regards to Sparky acting nasty, I must elaborate. Not only has he criticized and made fun of Loki's work, he has thrown complete fits in the office over nothing. He sends sarcastic & nasty emails & i/m messages to her. (One of these rants was just because his old man Plugs is having a fling with this lady, Witch, and Witch just so happens to be a real witch who does business with us and no one can please this Witch, not even I. So of course the Witch is chirping in lover Plug's ear... Who is in turn griping to Sparky about the business that he owns but knows nothing about... So you see what Loki means about family politics?) We joke on here about how he talks so frankly about Loki's breast milk, which doesn't qualify as professional behavior at all. Nor does saying "WTF?" to your employees, which he ranted at me one day just while I was checking on something for him. He has seriously become as rude & hateful as the rest of them. So I was already aware of the way Loki's job has been scrutinized... And being that I am the one who actually follows Loki's work/job the closest, I think I should know how she's doing. She is also the only one who ever gets in trouble for anything... For some reason they just pick on her and her job. I have never once been scolded for anything (but Poodle & Plugs do love me)... And even when I did Loki's job full time while she was out on maternity leave, they did not treat me that way. I'd also like to mention that if Plugs or Sparky sat down to do either of our jobs, they wouldn't even have a clue where to start. So maybe they should learn how to do the actual work before they start criticizing someone's performance.

Loki: So I knew I better be on time the next day...So in I come to work (after dropping Blue off with Gma Modern extra early,) and lo and behold, there is an empty box in my chair. I asked Cha Cha what this was about, and she told me Sparky was stomping around the day before after I left saying that I could just pack my Sh!@! (Professional, right?) "Hmm... so does this mean I am fired?" I sit and wonder... I texted Sparky if he would like to elaborate...crickets chirping here. He is conveniently "sick" and not coming in for the day. So then I ask the co-conspirator and brown noser of the office, Poodles, if she knew what was going on... "Nope" she said, while avoiding all eye-contact with me. (I'm pretty sure they teach you in the 3rd grade that this is a sign that you are lying.) So Stella comes in for the morning, and we both sit there all morning contemplating what to do... Hmm.. Do I just quit or wait for it? And so we waited...

Stella: I could tell the storm was coming. It was too quiet... Too calm... There was no papers being shuffled... no phony-bologna voices answering the phones to great the retarded old men... No pecking on the computer... but most of all, no loud thumping on the mouse... I had already decided that if Loki was going to get fired, I was going to quit. Because what would happen is that they would want me to do her job (that's cool with you, right Loki? Thanks for the job... It's working out great for me! haha) and I did not want that pressure. I'm sure anyone who knows me already knows that I am not a career oriented person. I work so that I can go shopping. I have no aspirations to move out and get my own place just so that I can work full time and never be home and call myself an Independent Woman! Heck no. Plus after seeing all the ridiculous things that you have to deal with when you DO ALL OF THE WORK in the office, I did not want that job. Nor did I want to spend my time training someone do to this work. (I sat with Loki for at least 4 months learning her job before I took over and did it on my own...And did we mention that for every 150 cases Loki handles, Poodles has 5? even if you don't understand our job you can see that nearly every piece of busines that comes into that office goes directly to Loki.) Not to mention, it is the most miserable and unfriendly place you could possibly be... (Just ask Curls- she couldn't cope & quit after only a few months of it!) I'd prefer to not torture myself. So yes, I was thinking of my sister... and then of myself....

Loki: Since Sparky was out "sick" that day in comes his old man, Plugs. He and Poodle take me back into Sparky's empty office and announce that they are going to give me a "termination interview." Please don't tell me I have to be interviewed to be fired?! That makes no sense. They began by listing several ridiculous reasons for why I don't perform well at my job (on top of "leaving whenever I feel like it") I decide that I can't stand this nonsense anymore. I have counter argued every point that they have given me... I have pointed out that no one else is measured by the same standard as me. So then I just get up and walk out to pack up my stuff. I look at Stella and tell her that I just got fired. And so she starts gathering up her things and comes over and stands by my desk to help me. What a good sister I have! She helps me as I am trying to pack up a desk that I have sat at for 5 years and meanwhile, trying to wipe away the angry tears I have falling from my face. Plugs and Poodle follow me to my desk to (I guess) continue the "termination interview"??? Plugs asked if he can help me carry anything. Umm... NO THANK YOU. They quickly realize that Stella is standing there with her things packed.. Frantically, Plugs asks "Uhh ....can you come back and talk with us?" Stella replies, "No." And as they continue to ask she just bluntly states, "I am not interested!"

Stella: When Loki went to go back to the "meeting" I started totalling up my hours and making sure there was nothing in my desk. I was ready to go... the only thing I had to do was delete my screen saver off my computer & take down a few pictures on my bulletin board. Which I started to do as soon as Loki came back. I was trying to listen in the whole time, but the door was closed so I could only hear muffled sounds. But like I said, I wasn't going to just stay there on my own. I seriously think they must be crazy. Why would I want to stay after that? Needless to say, I saw the "list" of reasons for "why" they fired Loki. And I can say with un-biased judgment as a fellow co-worker that it was ALL crap. (Ask us for details in person if you want to hear the ridiculous reasonings they came up with.) The look of sheer panic that came across Plug's & Poodle's face was priceless. I don't know why they wouldn't have expected me to get up and leave with her. I suppose they thought I would just sit and watch the proceedings as a "professional" would.

HAHAH. This is why you don't hire family.

It still doesn't sink in with Plugs that I am quitting. I have to tell him several times, "I don't want to work anymore." He asks if he can talk to me after lunch... so I have to explain, "I am leaving when she does!" Then he keeps pushing me... and that's never a good thing. So out it comes. Word vomit. Let's just say I told him what I just told you but in a shorter, more angry version. ChaCha looks scared in the other room like deer in the headlights. (She later told me that she was so shocked because she'd never seen me angry & she'd never heard me go off like that... haha.) Plugs insists that I sign something to say I'm quitting. I tell him that people quit all the time- they just don't show up- but he insists I write out "I am not going to work here anymore" and then sign and date it. He starts telling me he won't be able to give me a good reference to which I retort "uh yeah.. I probably won't even list you as a reference anyway!" Gee, does he think I'm stupid? I feel a tiny bit sorry for the old man because Sparky has just sent him in to do his dirty work. The litte pansy himself wouldn't have been able to say anything to me. He avoids me at all costs.

Loki: I realize at this point that I am now shouting things at Plugs and Poodles. I think they are surprised at this intensity we have and to everything Stella & I point out about what's messed up about this situation, he just keeps on saying "Well.. Oh, I didnt know that." Hmm.. Maybe you shouldn't be the one firing me then! Meanwhile, I am shoving the 10 toothbrushes I have stashed in my desk... I am trying not to get caught up and laugh about the fact that I am sure they are wondering what I am doing with so many toothbrushes in my desk. He tells me that I am taking this personal and it is just business. I then find myself quoting Erin Brokevich, "This is time away from my kid, if this isn't personal I dont know what is!" Well, it came out close to that anyway. And then we both pointed out how well this "professional business" is ran.

We both left in a hurry and I still feel like I left something behind... An email, paper or a photo... I didn't get to do anything nasty like delete emails or throw something important away...although it was tempting. The best I did was mark some emails as 'read'...that weren't. So there.

Stella: Talk about drama. We stormed outta that place and I'm sure they stood there like, "What just happened?" It was a very triumphant moment for us sticking it to the man. (Isn't that the saying?) Anyhow, we drove off and went to one of our beloved places to eat where we recapped all that had just happened. Then it sinks in a little... wow, we are unemployed... We probably shouldn't be going out to eat... Hm... Maybe we should just go home and work out? Either way, let's go pick up our babies & go home! But most of all, there was much relief. I hope to never set foot inside that dreaded awful place again! I will not miss any of those people who sat and scowled at me all day long. Those silly little fools. Good luck keeping up with our work. Even Loki pointed out as soon as we left that no one even knows how to do my job & we are super busy right now there is no way they can keep up without us... So there was much snickering & rejoicing... hmm.. Did they not think this through? Were their brains working at all? Do they honestly think Poodle can do any more work when she already acts like she's swamped every single day? And do they not know that P.R. can't come in until after she's had a few drinks? Hm... All of this just because Sparky is a cry baby.

Loki: Yes, and after speaking to Big T, he quickly called Plugs himself to tell him to be ready for a call from our attorney (just to mess with him.) My rights were violated by being fired for leaving to go vote! haha. And also that he was going to file a sexual harrassment suite for Sparky's behavior. He also told him his son was a coward, (which is really what i wanted to say).

All I can say is the Bantering Sisters do not go quietly.

Don't worry the fun will still continue! Tell us your favorite part of our exit!