Stella: Every woman who has ever birthed a child wants to tell you their labor story when you are pregnant... You get used to it just like you do waddling around without being able to see your toes or your legs when you're trying to shave them. But I thought this was one of the most annoying things about being pregnant! It didn't bother me if people wanted to touch my belly or talk to it... I just did not care to hear about what had happened to 'so & so'... or even 'so & so's friend.' (Even more annoyingly, I got to hear much more unnecessary information as a "single mom" because everyone has at least one friend with some sort of baby daddy/baby momma drama that they felt inclined to share with me.)
But once you push that little sucker out of your body, you will find that you want to tell the whole world about how it happened!!! This is because you discover that after that experience, you are indeed Super Woman. No other woman is as powerful as you... No one else could have suffered as much pain & gone through so much turmoil as you... And this is quite true. So even though I hated hearing about what happened to everyone else, I have caught the "labor story disease" as well and cannot help but want to discuss what horrific pain I experienced...
Loki: Oh I agree! I definitely find other labor stories fascinating. I always want to know what else happened.. Surely, this same thing has happened to someone else I say! Although I don't want to discuss the pain of pushing a baby out or the fear of pooping while pushing because I didn't experience that, nor will I ever now since I had a C-section. I didn't have a "birth plan" because everyone always said how they never work out because things always go wrong or differently. But I didn't even read about c-sections... or consider that it would happen to me. But... IT DID.
Stella: Yes, no one ever told me about back labor either! I actually went into labor on my actual due date. Pretty neat, huh? I started getting little tiny contractions around noon... So my mom & I went for a walk at the park to help move things along around 3 when they were getting to be more regular. They got to the point it was getting hard to walk so we headed home. I tried to sit around & relax (and get some rest for the big night ahead,) but that was pretty impossible to do... Especially in between contractions. I remember "She's All That" was on tv, but I could not concentrate on it at all... Eventually the contractions became extremely painful & were coming really close together. My dad & brothers would even come in the room to watch. How nice of them. It was at the point where you have to breath real heavy & deep to make it through them (although it's nothing like on tv) and I wanted to hit them both for standing there gawking at me. We left for the hospital around midnight (my mom, dad, and Batman. Oh and the Baby Daddy actually made it there for this event.) Everyone thought I was gonna put on a good show or something & freak out & be the meanest person known to mankind. Sorry to disappoint, but I don't think I did or said anything rude or hateful while in labor. I have a pretty amazing capability at remaining calm in stressful situations. (Unlike drama queen Loki, who did show up at the hospital in the middle of the night while I was in labor.) The only complaint I have about my birthing experience is that the nurse that was on call that night was HORRIBLE. She did not know what she was doing. She would come in & check me in the middle of a contraction! (However, every nurse I had after that was wonderful. I don't even know where this woman came from!) But until I got some medicine from the idiot woman who had no idea what she was doing, I had horrible back pains along with my contractions and NOTHING helped. I think I ended up turning into a sad, whimpering puppy until my mom went to order the nurse to get my epidural ready NOW! (As the dr. will tell you that you can have your epidural whenever you want. But since mine was at home snoozing in bed we had to be pretty forceful with the crazy nurse.)
When I got the hospital at midnight, I was only dialated a 2-3... I didn't officially get my epidural until 5 a.m... My dad & Batman tried to sleep out in the car during this time. They'd periodically come in to look at me lying there crumbled up in misery (And to scoff at the contraction readings on the machine.. "Oh those aren't very big or strong" my dad even remarked. GRRR) They ended up leaving to go home to sleep in their own beds before I was "officially admitted" into a room myself.. At last, the wonders of modern medicine. Anyone who forgoes such things is CRAZY! I was so happy to have that needle shoved into my back. (Saucy, Do not listen to anything Loki says about them as she never had painful contractions & is a spazoid!) After the epidural, I just layed back & waited until it was time to push. Wonderful. Once they said it was time to push, it took about 30 min. (Which surprised me because no one had ever told me this is how long it usually takes... On tv it only takes 2 seconds/one push. haha.) I had a nice big audience for the event: my mom, Loki, cousin Play Girl, the Baby Daddy & his mother. People often comment on how they were surprised so many people came in my room during the delivery since I used to be such a modest little thing. But I didn't really mind who was there. I would've probably invited Choc Chip or Gma Mod to come inside if they had wanted too. haha. I actually think Loki & PlayGirl were scarred for a little bit after witnessing a real life birth (since I was the first little mother out of our family & my friends. And not to mention, PlayGirl accidentally turned around & saw the placenta as well.. Whoops. Sorry!) And there you have it. 22 hours later.... (But only about 5 hours of intense pain.) Little Bella was born at 10:14 a.m.. Gush, gush, gush!
Loki: One week before my due date I was sitting at work when I started getting contractions. I was pretty excited as I was insanely tired of being pregnant and being as big as a house. I didn't start timing them immediately, but noticed they kept on... Eventually I started timing them, and lo and behold, they were 5-6 minutes apart. I called Bess and she met me at my work to leave early... (obviously, I did not get fired that day for leaving early!)We went to the park to go walk & after an hour I still had consistant contractions. (I was always real paranoid that I would be the pregnant girl who keeps showing up at the hospital that they send back home over & over.) So I planned on waiting until they got more intense and were 4 minutes apart. I went home that day and continued timing. Everyone was on alert. I kept getting text messages from Stella and Bess, who were ready to meet me at the hospital at a moment's notice. But after about 14 hours of contractions....They slowly just stopped. All for NOTHING! I didnt realize false labor could last so long and so consistant.
Stella: However, you should noticed at the time that the intensity was not increasing... the pain stayed the same throughout the day... This indicates false labor. Real contractions will continually be stronger & harder. Thank you little helper Stella for that tidbit of information. You're welcome! Always glad to correct you.
Loki: So then my due date came and went. I was only dialated to a one when my dr scheduled an induction. I was really nervous about being induced because I knew there was a bigger chance of ending in a C-section, and I did NOT want a C-Section. So on Feb 15th... Big T and I headed to the hospital at 8:00 pm. This big lady nurse came in and inserted a cervadil patch. (this is a strip that this big handed lady had to place on my cervix.) We had to wait 2 hours to make sure this would work.... So then at about 1:00 am they came back in my room. This patch made me have contractions... It should've been taken out earlier, but there were some other pregnant girls coming in ready to deliver. I had to wait until 5:00am and then they came in to hook up the pitocin. They start this stuff on a low dosage and every few hours come back and increase the intensity. I layed there with an IV in my arm on top of a baby monitor and another monitor on your belly that is constantly beeping in your ear. Everytime I moved the stupid thing would quit registering the baby's heartbeat. Big T was there pacing back & forth in boredom... I was having constitant contractions, but they were just annoying at this point and not so painful. The antestisiologist came in and he had to leave to go to a birthday party or something and wanted to know if I wanted the epidural. I didn't know!! I've never had a baby before... But I wasn't in that much pain. But I didn't want to miss out on it and everyone kept telling me it would be so wonderful and to go ahead and get it...so I did. This big fat needle is inserted in your back. You can feel the warmth go all over your body and then you start to get tingly limbs. I DID NOT LIKE IT. I could no longer feel any part of my lower body. From this point on, I was in an hightend state of anxiety. Every so often the medicine would not be as strong and I was start to feel pain (pitocin drip still in, still increasing...) which i liked because it meant I could feel my legs and Bess could break from rubbing my feet.
Stella: Okay, Momma... You are getting a little long winded. Let's get to the action. (I usually have to speed up the story process with Bess as well.. who is known for sharing the most insignificant details.) Do you see how I summarized my story into 2 short paragraphs? By the way, Loki was freaking out like a crazy person about her feet. She was seriously crying & having fits because she did not like the way the medicine made her feel. I found this to be both amusing & annoying at the same time.
Loki: Yes, yes, sorry! Anyway fast forward until 7:00pm... I am still only dialated to a one... I'm worn out and tired and think that I just can't do this anymore!! I agreed to a C-Section. It was really scary. I was crying and felt sick. I had not eaten all day plus with all the drugs... made me vomit. You still feel pressure though. This "pressure" feels like some big fat man is doing a jig on your belly. All I could do was ball my hands into fists and hope that this would be over soon. Finally, they pull her out and I see a scrunched up, red, screaming baby. More tears. I was given some more drugs which effectively knocked me out. It was a horrible experience... but the results are well worth it. I would do it again tomorrow.... but let's make the next time a little less dramatic.. eh? Probably not.
Stella: You forgot to mention how after you saw your daughter's face for the very first time you threw up. Hahah. I don't know why I think that is so funny. I loved staying at the hospital. I would like to go back... Lots of attention & visitors. It's like a fun party! Except then you go home with a crying baby that won't go to sleep all night long or nurse correctly and no one is there to help you anymore. Way to end on a cheerful note, Stella! No.. really... I'd do it all again tomorrow too. (That's what every mom says, right? The ones who don't are shunned by society...)
Alright mothers! It's your turn! Dish out your best labor story
LOKI!!!!! For real??? That is the worst picture ever! In fact, it is FRIGHTENING! Ahh... Last time I let you add pictures...
ReplyDeleteahhhhhh such a comforting post! =)
ReplyDeleteMy longest labor was 7 hours ... shortest was 1 1/2 hours. I had an epidural once and the others were "natural" (because they were so fast). I thought everyone was supposed to scream and sweat like they do in TV and movies, but I didn't ... and I found out most people don't. :) In fact, Wes says I was pretty nice and only snapped at him once when he was trying to "identify" with me and tell me he had had diarrhea cramps, so he understood how I felt. That still just amazes me that he tried to compare labor to having the poops! Yep, I was frightened the first time because I didn't know what to expect, but felt like a pro after that. And yes, I DID do it again (and again and again, etc.). Those sweet little babies make it all worth it!
ReplyDeleteI like the top picture.. it's funny. Pregnant women should not listen to "things gone wrong" type labor stories. For most Moms, things will go just fine. I have 4 stories. I got epidurals with all 4 and can't imagine those moms who do it natural (I tell my husband that they must have good birthing hips.. I do not! ha). I ended up with a broken tailbone with my first during labor, 2nd was a preemie and I felt the pressure.. ready to push type pressure and had a dozen learning hopsital staff watching, the 3rd I had awful back labor and felt nauseous, but didn't throw up, the last was normal, but the biggest baby. I did not like having numb legs with my 1st (and I had to lay there forever after she was born). I don't remember having that problem with the other ones. It is funny how we like to share our misery. Thankfully it is all worth it!
ReplyDeleteI gained like 33 pounds, so I wasn't HUGE, but there was another lady in the same "labor room" w/ just a curtain pulled between and she was obese, not being mean, she just was very, VERY large and it was her 3-4 child and she was SCREAMING and HOLLERING and THREATENING and CRYING and making a scene and I remember looking toward her bed and I was TERRIFIED!!! I said, out loud; "Today I will die!" I believed it too. But, I didn't. 36 hours later and a C-section and I delivered a precious baby. #2 was traumatic, to say the least! They rushed him to Children's Hosp. and said 1)he had a heart defect few hours later they said, 2)brain tumor..few hours later 3)lungs not developed. 50% chance of survival. 26 years later and he's fine (Stella!!! No comment!!! lol) The rest were wonderful and great! Choc Chip filmed third and Nana Bess filmed fourth! :o)
ReplyDeleteIs that barbie real? Freaky!!
ReplyDeleteMy first time I was in "false labor" or so I thought. Killer cramps every 6 or so minutes... all day long so I called in sick to work. I also had diarrhea that day as well. My sister played hookey and came to my house to watch me lay there in pain. She (only being 17 at the time knew this was not normal false labor pains and I should call my dr!). So I did and off to the hospital we go to get checked. I had only gained 9 lbs at this point and was 6 weeks away from my due date so the nurses laughed at me when I said I needed to be checked to see if I was in labor. About 30 min later... weighting in a 3 lbs and 14 oz.. my little LOKI came into the world tiny and perfect! :) It was NOTHING like I thought it would be. I got a saddleblock and layed down on the table and the Dr pulls out a baby. I was like, "but wait.. I didn't push or scream or anything.. like I literally did nothing!" It is wonderful becoming a mom esp for the first time. I have 3 more labor stories and remember them each as well... but the first was the most entertaining I think. :)
ReplyDeleteCougar, how can I NOT comment about that bearded unibomber/hillbilly son of yours? He is one of the most entertaining people I know!!! And that's all I'll say :)
ReplyDeleteyeah, he's entertaining to say the least! I had dinner w/ him (and bull rider boy) last thurs. and lunch w/ both of them today. I come away laughing and shaking my head all at once each time! :o/ Oh! How I do love them!!!!
ReplyDeleteToday Hillbilly went into the bank w/ Bull Rider and threw a fit because they were charging Bull R. $8.00 monthly fee. They were in there a long time while I sat in the car. Finally I get a text from Bull R. saying, "They are handcuffing Hillbilly and he is being arrested!" I just laughed, then prayed that it wasn't true. In the end, the bank credited Bull R. $60.00 and all was well.
Oh! AND I need to add that I am sitting in front of the bank, by the front door w/ a HUGE rifle beside me in the passenger seat. What was I thinking? ...I wasn't!! Hillbilly had it w/ us to go check on a deer feeder and in case we saw a deer he would have the gun w/ him. I don't even know if it is legal to have a weapon that close to a bank. This gun is huge, I'm tellin' ya!
ReplyDeleteWhat a noble thing that would have been... To get arrested for defending your baby brother's right to not be charged a monthly $8 fee!!! Haha.
ReplyDeleteHad 5 babies and would do it again of course. My first no family present, but babies daddy, who was sent home after I slept all day. Woke up from napping (as they had given me 'something' to rest me and my labor stopped altogether) then the nurses wouldn't call Mr Mechanic as he'd been awake all day. Nana Bess was due the week of Thanksgiving so the Dr gave me castor oil to drink on Mon pm. I stayed awake all night waiting to go into labor. Finally Tues late morning I went to the hospital having some back pain..and promptly fell asleep. 10:30 arrived and more contractions. I was so used to doing what I was said it's a wonder I asked for them to call Mr Mechanic. Finally they called and when he arrived 20n minutes later, I was given anesthesia and that's the last thing I remember. Mr Mechanic saw NanaBess before I did. I was even too afraind to unwrap her blanket they brought her to me in. But thankfully, no problems with her or her brother who came 14 months later...waited til 5 min apart like they tell you and baby #2 arrived at 4 in the afternoon. Baby #3 (Choc Chip) arrived on a Sunday with no anesthesia Dr present, so had a 'saddleblock' which I guess is the same as an epidural...remember watching in an overhead mirrow baby being born and felt nothing. I must have raised my head because I threw up after put back in my room. Mr Mechanic didn't like that procedure so back to anesthesia for next two who came after only 5 hours or so of labor. Both times my back hurt and Mr Mechanic kept timing my groans and told me I was in labor and had to call the Dr. He was right and once we left for the hospital, within a few hours my babies arrived. Don't remember screaming either. But it is not like pooping either! What do guys know. All Moms remember afterward is how wonderful their little one is. Saucy, not to worry. Your experiences will be yours and no one else's. God will give you the strength when you need it. And we will all be praying and supporting you. And yes, we can't wait either!
ReplyDeleteP.S. Can I say how blessed I was to be there for all three of my daughter's births? And even get to see my great granddaughter's babies when they were born? I am blessed. My mother was never at my side however it did make me bond with my husband all the more. A good plan I think. We don't want to hear about Choc Chips natural experience. I still blame Mr Computer Man for taunting her. And I didn't watch the video for almost 20 years later. But back to being blessed. I am.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of: I have had a baby and have earned the right to watch the birth. Yes?
ReplyDelete