Monday, November 22, 2010
Stella: Every woman who has ever birthed a child wants to tell you their labor story when you are pregnant... You get used to it just like you do waddling around without being able to see your toes or your legs when you're trying to shave them. But I thought this was one of the most annoying things about being pregnant! It didn't bother me if people wanted to touch my belly or talk to it... I just did not care to hear about what had happened to 'so & so'... or even 'so & so's friend.' (Even more annoyingly, I got to hear much more unnecessary information as a "single mom" because everyone has at least one friend with some sort of baby daddy/baby momma drama that they felt inclined to share with me.)
But once you push that little sucker out of your body, you will find that you want to tell the whole world about how it happened!!! This is because you discover that after that experience, you are indeed Super Woman. No other woman is as powerful as you... No one else could have suffered as much pain & gone through so much turmoil as you... And this is quite true. So even though I hated hearing about what happened to everyone else, I have caught the "labor story disease" as well and cannot help but want to discuss what horrific pain I experienced...
Loki: Oh I agree! I definitely find other labor stories fascinating. I always want to know what else happened.. Surely, this same thing has happened to someone else I say! Although I don't want to discuss the pain of pushing a baby out or the fear of pooping while pushing because I didn't experience that, nor will I ever now since I had a C-section. I didn't have a "birth plan" because everyone always said how they never work out because things always go wrong or differently. But I didn't even read about c-sections... or consider that it would happen to me. But... IT DID.
Stella: Yes, no one ever told me about back labor either! I actually went into labor on my actual due date. Pretty neat, huh? I started getting little tiny contractions around noon... So my mom & I went for a walk at the park to help move things along around 3 when they were getting to be more regular. They got to the point it was getting hard to walk so we headed home. I tried to sit around & relax (and get some rest for the big night ahead,) but that was pretty impossible to do... Especially in between contractions. I remember "She's All That" was on tv, but I could not concentrate on it at all... Eventually the contractions became extremely painful & were coming really close together. My dad & brothers would even come in the room to watch. How nice of them. It was at the point where you have to breath real heavy & deep to make it through them (although it's nothing like on tv) and I wanted to hit them both for standing there gawking at me. We left for the hospital around midnight (my mom, dad, and Batman. Oh and the Baby Daddy actually made it there for this event.) Everyone thought I was gonna put on a good show or something & freak out & be the meanest person known to mankind. Sorry to disappoint, but I don't think I did or said anything rude or hateful while in labor. I have a pretty amazing capability at remaining calm in stressful situations. (Unlike drama queen Loki, who did show up at the hospital in the middle of the night while I was in labor.) The only complaint I have about my birthing experience is that the nurse that was on call that night was HORRIBLE. She did not know what she was doing. She would come in & check me in the middle of a contraction! (However, every nurse I had after that was wonderful. I don't even know where this woman came from!) But until I got some medicine from the idiot woman who had no idea what she was doing, I had horrible back pains along with my contractions and NOTHING helped. I think I ended up turning into a sad, whimpering puppy until my mom went to order the nurse to get my epidural ready NOW! (As the dr. will tell you that you can have your epidural whenever you want. But since mine was at home snoozing in bed we had to be pretty forceful with the crazy nurse.)
When I got the hospital at midnight, I was only dialated a 2-3... I didn't officially get my epidural until 5 a.m... My dad & Batman tried to sleep out in the car during this time. They'd periodically come in to look at me lying there crumbled up in misery (And to scoff at the contraction readings on the machine.. "Oh those aren't very big or strong" my dad even remarked. GRRR) They ended up leaving to go home to sleep in their own beds before I was "officially admitted" into a room myself.. At last, the wonders of modern medicine. Anyone who forgoes such things is CRAZY! I was so happy to have that needle shoved into my back. (Saucy, Do not listen to anything Loki says about them as she never had painful contractions & is a spazoid!) After the epidural, I just layed back & waited until it was time to push. Wonderful. Once they said it was time to push, it took about 30 min. (Which surprised me because no one had ever told me this is how long it usually takes... On tv it only takes 2 seconds/one push. haha.) I had a nice big audience for the event: my mom, Loki, cousin Play Girl, the Baby Daddy & his mother. People often comment on how they were surprised so many people came in my room during the delivery since I used to be such a modest little thing. But I didn't really mind who was there. I would've probably invited Choc Chip or Gma Mod to come inside if they had wanted too. haha. I actually think Loki & PlayGirl were scarred for a little bit after witnessing a real life birth (since I was the first little mother out of our family & my friends. And not to mention, PlayGirl accidentally turned around & saw the placenta as well.. Whoops. Sorry!) And there you have it. 22 hours later.... (But only about 5 hours of intense pain.) Little Bella was born at 10:14 a.m.. Gush, gush, gush!
Loki: One week before my due date I was sitting at work when I started getting contractions. I was pretty excited as I was insanely tired of being pregnant and being as big as a house. I didn't start timing them immediately, but noticed they kept on... Eventually I started timing them, and lo and behold, they were 5-6 minutes apart. I called Bess and she met me at my work to leave early... (obviously, I did not get fired that day for leaving early!)We went to the park to go walk & after an hour I still had consistant contractions. (I was always real paranoid that I would be the pregnant girl who keeps showing up at the hospital that they send back home over & over.) So I planned on waiting until they got more intense and were 4 minutes apart. I went home that day and continued timing. Everyone was on alert. I kept getting text messages from Stella and Bess, who were ready to meet me at the hospital at a moment's notice. But after about 14 hours of contractions....They slowly just stopped. All for NOTHING! I didnt realize false labor could last so long and so consistant.
Stella: However, you should noticed at the time that the intensity was not increasing... the pain stayed the same throughout the day... This indicates false labor. Real contractions will continually be stronger & harder. Thank you little helper Stella for that tidbit of information. You're welcome! Always glad to correct you.
Loki: So then my due date came and went. I was only dialated to a one when my dr scheduled an induction. I was really nervous about being induced because I knew there was a bigger chance of ending in a C-section, and I did NOT want a C-Section. So on Feb 15th... Big T and I headed to the hospital at 8:00 pm. This big lady nurse came in and inserted a cervadil patch. (this is a strip that this big handed lady had to place on my cervix.) We had to wait 2 hours to make sure this would work.... So then at about 1:00 am they came back in my room. This patch made me have contractions... It should've been taken out earlier, but there were some other pregnant girls coming in ready to deliver. I had to wait until 5:00am and then they came in to hook up the pitocin. They start this stuff on a low dosage and every few hours come back and increase the intensity. I layed there with an IV in my arm on top of a baby monitor and another monitor on your belly that is constantly beeping in your ear. Everytime I moved the stupid thing would quit registering the baby's heartbeat. Big T was there pacing back & forth in boredom... I was having constitant contractions, but they were just annoying at this point and not so painful. The antestisiologist came in and he had to leave to go to a birthday party or something and wanted to know if I wanted the epidural. I didn't know!! I've never had a baby before... But I wasn't in that much pain. But I didn't want to miss out on it and everyone kept telling me it would be so wonderful and to go ahead and get it...so I did. This big fat needle is inserted in your back. You can feel the warmth go all over your body and then you start to get tingly limbs. I DID NOT LIKE IT. I could no longer feel any part of my lower body. From this point on, I was in an hightend state of anxiety. Every so often the medicine would not be as strong and I was start to feel pain (pitocin drip still in, still increasing...) which i liked because it meant I could feel my legs and Bess could break from rubbing my feet.
Stella: Okay, Momma... You are getting a little long winded. Let's get to the action. (I usually have to speed up the story process with Bess as well.. who is known for sharing the most insignificant details.) Do you see how I summarized my story into 2 short paragraphs? By the way, Loki was freaking out like a crazy person about her feet. She was seriously crying & having fits because she did not like the way the medicine made her feel. I found this to be both amusing & annoying at the same time.
Loki: Yes, yes, sorry! Anyway fast forward until 7:00pm... I am still only dialated to a one... I'm worn out and tired and think that I just can't do this anymore!! I agreed to a C-Section. It was really scary. I was crying and felt sick. I had not eaten all day plus with all the drugs... made me vomit. You still feel pressure though. This "pressure" feels like some big fat man is doing a jig on your belly. All I could do was ball my hands into fists and hope that this would be over soon. Finally, they pull her out and I see a scrunched up, red, screaming baby. More tears. I was given some more drugs which effectively knocked me out. It was a horrible experience... but the results are well worth it. I would do it again tomorrow.... but let's make the next time a little less dramatic.. eh? Probably not.
Stella: You forgot to mention how after you saw your daughter's face for the very first time you threw up. Hahah. I don't know why I think that is so funny. I loved staying at the hospital. I would like to go back... Lots of attention & visitors. It's like a fun party! Except then you go home with a crying baby that won't go to sleep all night long or nurse correctly and no one is there to help you anymore. Way to end on a cheerful note, Stella! No.. really... I'd do it all again tomorrow too. (That's what every mom says, right? The ones who don't are shunned by society...)
Alright mothers! It's your turn! Dish out your best labor story