Monday, February 14, 2011

Cleaning Monster

Loki: My husband has become part of the Cleaning Police. I do not know when this started...Well, yes I do--Right after we had a kid. He used to biggest slob I knew and that says a lot coming from me! Although I have curbed my slobbiness somewhat... I am much better. But 'my best' is still not even 'Stella's okay.' But I am fine with that. I realize I just do not have that cleaning gene. However, when you marry another slob...one of you has to change and before now, that has been me. I am and have always been the sole cleaner of this home. When we had Baby Blue all of a sudden my clean was not good enough for Mr. Big T. He wanted it immaculate. Like Stella clean all the time. He stayed home 2 days out of the week (while I used to go to work) and so he started cleaning during that time. Which meant he would clean the kitchen and maybe the front room. Yes, it was clean. But the rest of the house was a pit! He seems to think that I should have this house spotless all the time now because, of course, I am unemployed. I would like to say that I dedicate at least 2 hours to cleaning every day. Usually that is spent in the kitchen, doing dishes, cleaning counters, sweeping and swiffering... and then vacuuming. That is usually all I get done on a day to day basis because my attention is then needed elsewhere. Every now and then I get a good scrubbing out of the bathroom and bedrooms too. Anyway, I am just rambling. This week it is time to "deep clean" my house for Baby Blue's 1st birthday party. I am quite nervous and anxious about company coming over, but mostly for Stella to come over and inspect my house. I feel like no matter how much time I dedicate this week to scrubbing that it will not be good enough. Stella has already made me a list of cleaning things to do this week... laundry room and bedrooms are today. I will clean, but please tell me who is going to go into my laundry room?

Stella: What if Skyla makes a huge mess and you have to take off her outfit and bib and put it in there to be washed? Then you will open the door thinking you can just shove it in there, but then EVERYONE will see the disaster you are hiding inside. You know rule #1 of party planning states that when you decide to have a birthday party at your house then you should know upfront that you are going to have to clean it. Then when you decide to invite 40+ people you're going to have to make it look extra nice (and can't slack off like you could if it were just your mother & sister.) I should have started giving you lessons in party planning 3 months ago so that way you wouldn't have had a mental breakdown last weekend because you were not prepared for this party. Of course I had to rush to the rescue, like the amazing party planning expert I am, and fix everything up for her. And then I left her with lists of what she needed to do all week to prepare. Silly, silly amateur.

Loki: Yes, I am an amateur. I feel like I am all alone. Even with all your list making... I still have to follow them. Guess what? I didn't even finish the list from yesterday and now I am behind. I had to go shopping for all the goodies we will be making... (errr you will be making) and it was crazy town because another blizzard was coming so people have to stock up on food because they will not be able to get out and get fast food. Here I am stocking up on powdered sugar and chocolate chips.  It is rather hard trying to clean and also watch this monster child. Ok she is not a monster, but she is following me around like a puppy dog and I keep running into her. I can not dedicate enough time needed to clean this house. Oh my gosh think of what this would be like if I actually had a job and DID not have time to clean at all!! You would for sure come over and clean for me... you know in exchange for money. I volunteered to give you money to clean this time too, but you did not accept. You always accept and my anxiety goes down to a 1. I always get excited when you clean... like I was most excited having my baby shower at my house because that meant you would clean. Hmm... perhaps I should quit procrastinating and whining and just get to cleaning. The babe should be taking a nap but instead she is laying in her crib making funny noises. She has not fallen asleep yet.

Stella: I've decided that the anxiety I GET from cleaning YOUR house is not worth the $$$. hahaha. GO CLEAN.

Okay so this post is old, but maybe no one will notice.... 

Why, hello! How was your weekend?

2 comments:

  1. It wasn't cleaning. LOL! If Stella didn't come clean my house it would go downhill fast. Although Mr. Mechanic has watched Stella mop and offers to help me mop if I get on my hands and knees to clean the kitchen floor. I like my house clean but have never figured out how to keep it that way. I can vacuume and dust and swipe at the counters/bathrooms etc but deep cleaning, not so much. The kids and I used to run around the house picking everything up when it was time for Dad to come home. But I did like baking and dinner was always ready around 5 so no complaints from husband there. I could use a list on what to clean and how but I don't think it would help. I empathize with you Loki. I chose to play with my kids too when they were Skyla's age. The good news is that I can clean better than I could then. If that is any consolation. And it scares me to have company over even if it's family if I haven't a clean house. Thank goodness I have a delightful person to clean for me. Twice a week. I'm so grateful!

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  2. My mom always enjoyed cleaning and doing things in/with her house and I inherited it. I enjoy a clean house and I don't mind cleaning it. I usually even enjoy cleaning! When my babies were small, it was a lot more difficult to find the time needed and also to keep it clean. You have the rest of your life to clean house. Your little ones are only little for a short time! :o)

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