Tuesday, February 1, 2011


Loki: Hi my name is Loki, aka Lucy. I am sure most of you reading this blog understand why my family calls me "Lucy". I think my father coined the name for me after the millionith time I got myself in a "lucy type" situation. I would just like to tell you that sometimes being Lucy gets on my nerves. Have you ever said I am getting annoyed with myself? A lot of these things have happenend because I am clumsy. Big T used to laugh at me every time I tripped or ran into something (a wall, corner, table, coffee table...really any stationary object you can run into...I will) now he just rolls his eyes. Today I was drinking some coffee. Something must have startled me because out of no where I jerked and splashed it on my arm... scalding me. I then somehow decided to jerk again and spill the burning coffee all over the couch and my boob. Big T saw this happen and he said it looked like I just poured out my cup 3 different times on myself. To me, this happened in slow motion but I was not able to control it. I shot up screaming and had to rip my shirt off and then my bra. Standing there coffee soaked and splotchy red my child and husband sat there starring at me like I was crazy

This syndrome manifests itself in very awkward scenarios. Big T and I had journeyed to Jamaica on a fabulous vacation. We decided to leave our oasis of a resort in order to go be adventurous in the Jamaican jungle. We went on a zip line tour. In order to get there you had to ride for about an hour on a tour bus with other couples from this resort. We finished the zip lining and then headed back to the resort. I was so ready to get back to the ocean! I made sure I took a bathroom break before heading back on to the bus. However about 30 minutes in I felt the need to pee again. Oh well I thought...I can hold it. Only about 5 minutes had passed and I realized that it was becoming a more dire situation. I really needed to go now. It was becoming a little uncomfortable. I tell Big T... hey I have to go. "Okay he says... hold it". We were in Jamaica ...you drive by huts on the side of the road ...not McDonald's or a gas station. I resort to trying to concentrate on other things....listening to the couple retell the adventure of the zip line or the rapid excursion that others had went on. They were pretty inebriated so they were entertaining...but it wasn't enough to distract me from my now obvious pain. As I mentioned before we are driving Jamaican roads.... bumpy narrow curving roads... I keep looking out my window and imagining that I could just squat behind that tree or if the driver would just stop I wouldn't care if the whole bus saw my butt in the air...I had to PEE. It became so bad that I had tears streaming down my face as I just stare at Big T in obvious torment... and also a pleading for him to help me. I am sure he was trying not to laugh but he didn't. I was also trying (or thought I was being) quiet in my pleas. I had grabbed the necklace I was wearing and broke it off of my neck. I guess because somehow I thought that would help my bladder I dont know. Big T finally goes up to the bus driver to see what we can do....and he says we are almost there. It seemed like an eternity but we finally pull up to the resort and I stand up because I am going to run off of this bus. Everyone stays seated to let me run by and everyone starts clapping. Apparently the 100 people on that bus knew what agony I was in. The rest of the day I had strangers coming up to me and telling me they felt so sorry for me.

One more and I will be done for the day. I went to Wal-Mart the other day. I usually pack some kind of toy for Blue to entertain herself with if she gets bored looking around. We were in the super store because I had to get everything. I racked up a $250 bill. Everything was loaded in bags into my cart when I reach in to find my debit card and....its not there. I search again...and again and still nothing. Crap. Then I remember at some point during this last hour and a half that I looked down to see Blue playing with my coin purse. (I got a new "coin purse" for Christmas that fits all of my cards in as well) Anyway she had unzipped it when I caught her. I swiftly took it and put it away... but apparently my card had fallen out during that process. I dont have my check book on me because I am carrying this dumb coin purse! Meanwhile there are 5 people lined up behind me...one already has her entire cart unloaded onto the belt just waiting for me to leave. I dont know what to do. I call Big T to see if he is in the area and maybe can come bail me out? Uhh Nope.Blue has been hamming it up for the people behind us...smiling and talking so they were not mean people. I try to explain what is happening. I sound like a retard though trying to explain to strangers that I do have money to pay this...but I dont have my card! How embarrassing.  The dumb high school cashier just stares at me waiting for me to decide what to do.  So they end up having to cancel my entire order and movnig my cart to the side. I have to rush home to find my dumb check book so I can come back and pay. So after loading up Blue again and getting back up to Wal-Mart-- I walk to my cart but the same cashier lady has left... No I dont have a receipt for this...I havent paid yet. Right at this moment I notice someone carrying a debit card around... it turned out to be mine. I have to go wait in line again while they take out all the items from the bags, re-ring it and then re-bag it. Spending 4 hours at Wal-Mart was exactly what I wanted to do.

Its a blizzard out there right now.... ENJOY!  


  1. Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! ha ha... oh the stories we could tell. You keep life entertaining for sure. Only YOU could spill coffee 3 times on yourself for no apparent reason! I just laughed and laughed and wish I could tell some more stories. My one favorite is indeed the first Christmas you spent with Travis's parents and had to splash milk all over your face to get the habonera pepper off that you had wiped on! Then off to work to wait on tables after the milk had washed all your make up off - PRICELESS! :)

  2. Loki...err Lucy, you are indeed humorous!!!!

  3. Poor Loki. It's not really her fault. She doesn't plan these experiences. Scalding coffee is dangerous. Especially on tender skin..gratefully Skyla escaped this. And I know the embarrasment at being at the gro store and not having money to pay it all. One time with only cash (no debit card or checks, or money in the bank account) I had to actually put some items back when the total was more than I had in my hand. So yes, I love "Lucy" and that's why the show has that title. We all grew up loving the "I love Lucy" as she keeps us all entertained or/and feeling empathetic for her. I'm glad Big T understands and loves her too.