Open Range

Loki: I have a job interview tomorrow. Bleh. I hate interviews. I come off as a spaz and lately I have had trouble even speaking correct sentences to my husband and family, much less to strangers I am trying to impress. I think that you should look at someone's qualifications and if they seem to fit then you just talk about the job and hours/pay yadda yadda and then just try them out to see if they fit. (You know if you are worried about them fitting in with the other staff). You get a misrepresentation of someone in an interview. It is like you are supposed to go in and brag about yourself...talk about your good qualities...lie about your last job and the reason you departed ways.Sorta like how people are on a first date. You meet the person's representative not the real person.  Is it bad that I am thinking about just not going? It makes me so nervous. Fortunately most of my jobs have not been based on my interview skills. Ive only ever given a really good interview and I did in fact get hired. This was only because I had worked in the industry for several years and I knew what dumb things they needed to hear in order for them to believe that I would make the best employee...you know key words like team work, upsell, customers always right... all that bs. Anyway I don't even know if I want this job...I just randomly applied and then I am setting up an interview...I am totally over qualified. The job is walking distance from my house which would be nice....except I will have to drive an hour before getting there. (you know taking the baby all the way to Nana's and then back) ...Oh and I will have to make that drive again at the end of the day. But that is another blog and I am getting ahead of myself...who says I will even get the job. In my case the best representation does not show up with nervous Loki....I would be better off sending my mother for me.

Stella: I don't know why you are even going to this interview. Do you want the job? Will you even accept the job if it's offered to you? Ugh. I never want to interview for another job. That's why I get hired on with people who already work there so I can skip that part. Good thing Blue has such a wonderful Auntie that can come up and babysit. Loki is currently romping around the house getting nervous and chanting "this sucks, this sucks, this sucks..." while I sit here and blog and watch "I used to be fat." (Blue is napping.) What sucks is that you have to go to this interview just to please BIG T. Who cares about your hemline? No one will notice if it's a little bit frayed... Hopefully. And if they do, then maybe you won't get the job and won't have to reject it and get in further trouble from Big T.

Loki: Well, today is a new day and I know you readers will be dying to know...but I did not get the job. The interview was not as bad as I thought it would be. I do usually over react. Anyway, the woman chatted with me as if we were best friends, even making fun of the other interviews she had done earlier that day. She told me how perfect I was for the job, how I would bring a lot to the table.... yadda yadda.... But then I told her what I needed as a salary. Although she agreed that I deserved it, she didn't think she would be able to pay that. Anyway, that is fine with me. I think I would've liked the job, but the hours where really wonky AND it would've been a hauling for babysitting services. So I guess in the end it is a good thing she didn't offer me the job because I would've had to turn it down. I guess I will go back to searching the internet. Bess and Stella told me how Lowe's is hiring... Oh yes, that is exactly what I want to do.... Go work with high school kids in the paint section... That way I can talk to all the people from my grade about what a loser I am working at the local Lowe's. I guess I could just go get a job at Sonic next to my old classmate. My master plan in life. I do need to find a job close to Bess' house and that way I won't hate driving out there and then it will be that much easier to just MOVE there later. Aaah!

Stella: I wish we could say her real name on her, but every time Bess and I go to Sonic we say "Poor Paisley Davis... Still works at Sonic.. She probably has 5 children by now." In fact, we have watched her go through at least 2 pregnancies that I can remember. It's so sad. She'll waddle out to bring you your drink for 9 months with her big belly, and then before you know it, she's back at work with no belly. Bless her heart.

Loki: I would like to just tell you all that I have had to resort to working like a MEXICAN for my mother and father-in-law. Big T's parents own a property management company.... In other words, they fix up houses and then maintain them for the owners. Anyway, so they have a bunch of GHETTO houses that need to be cleaned and painted. May I just say I have spent 2 full days painting and CAULKING and away from my child all for $110. Totally not worth it in my opinion.  I am sore, tired, and hungry. (Hungry because I gave in and I am on this dumb South Beach diet like everyone else that doesn't allow you to eat any real food.) But I guess I got my exercise in for the day... That is, if raising your hands up and down for multiple hours at a time qualifies. We were painting rent houses so of course it was just a boring beige. Actually, I was calling the color "smoker's beige." I mean it had like a tint of yellow to it. You know, like walls in a smoker's house. Disgusting. This house I was in was vacant but you could still smell a thick smog of smoke in one of the bedrooms. They really were not too concerned with the paint job as they know the tenants are smokers and will just smoke up a storm there.... inevitably knowing that they will have to paint again. I also noticed that instead of cleaning the walls or doors that we just painted over it. Of course it made it look cleaner...but does that mean it is actually cleaner? I just came home and looked at my walls...knowing that when we bought the house they had repainted the whole thing.... I just wondered what was in between the walls and the fresh coat of paint.

Stella: Gross. NOT WORTH IT. I would have refused that job. Just like I refused to help Dad make business cards the other day. But I guess you have to do it to please your husband. Your money obsessed, work-a-holic husband. Ugh. Glad I don't have one of those. In fact, I think he is only pleased with you when you have money and are working. What a terrible thing. I'm glad we don't live in the 1800's still. Because if you died or something, our family would probably try to pawn me off on him to save the farm and raise your child, and I'd have to deal with all his nonsense. And if it were like a Hallmark movie, then I'd have to fall in love with him by the end. But no. Let's not go there. I think the next time Big T tells you that you need to go help his parents by being a slave, you should tell him no. Tell him you're going to enter a Russian folk dancing contest instead. And the cash prize is $500. Then do a little dance for him... You know, holding your arms criss-cross in front of you and bouncing to the floor and back up while kicking your legs out. I'm sure there's a Russian dance term for that move. I will have to ask my friend Svetlana. haha. That would be fun. Do it. It'll liven up what is sure to be your very serious financial discussion. Gee. It's a wonder that my marriage wasn't more interesting. Guess I married a grumpus who didn't appreciate my humor AT ALL.

What should I do? Learn to dance or go buy some painting gloves?