Banter Fans,We are sorry to say that we have nothing prepared to post. So we have agreed to torture you all with another rambling piece by none other than our dear brother, Batman, whose own mother has called his work both awful & strange and begged us not to post another. Even though we received a very bad response from the last "memo" written by Bat Boy to his co-workers Austin & Chance, we are still going to proceed forward with using this. Good luck getting through it and we wish you a happy week. Ta ta!
Batman: So, boys. The daily e-mail has started... As time flies by on this lovely Wednesday, I sit back and wonder what on earth will I write about today. I thought about…. Hang on, I got a stupid question and it might not come out right through typing but we are going to go for it anyway. Wednesday… we all know how to say it. But it doesn’t sound the way it is spelled. Wed-nes-day. What the crap, why isn't it just spelled wensday, or winsday. Wed- (wedding is what I think about) nes-( Ness lock monster)-day (I hate you chance). Put them all together and it comes out winsday. Food for thought.
I am going to continue on with other things that people do to bug me. Now, since Austin made me send him the e-mail about people bothering me which was only directed at Chance, even though Austin said he read it, he didn’t. You know what he did Chance, he hit reply and didn’t take any of the previous message out and just wrote a text message to me pretty much through e-mail. (This is the part where you say, "no he didn’t"), Oh yes he did. I couldn’t believe it either. Don’t worry buddy, I gave him a strong talking to with a warning of a warning letter. I documented it in his employee records as well. (Warning of a warning letter is I warned him that I would give him a warning letter next time this happens, try and keep up) Anyways, a thing that people do that bugs me is……laugh at their own jokes. Now, I tend to think that I am a funny guy, on occasion I make people laugh. So naturally I make jokes here and there, but you will never hear me tell a joke or make one of those outstanding witty remarks that I make and start cracking myself up about it. I will give a smile and wait for you to either laugh, smile, or frown at me because it was inappropriate before I make my next move. If you laugh, I will probably laugh with you but never above the level that you are laughing at. I tend to either match the level, or go below it. Sometimes, I wont laugh at all, just give it a smile because I don’t want to laugh with a pity laughter. That’s just the way I am. For example, if someone tells me a joke and laughs even before I react or louder then I laugh, I want to punch that person in the face, stand over him while he is on the floor with a bloody nose and laugh louder then he is crying.
"Why did you just punch me?", the man said while blood ran into his mouth from his nose.
"Because, you sir, are a laugh stealer", I reply with a wicked look on my face to make sure the guy knows I am serious.
I then precede to walk around the building, noticing that everyone was staring right at him with looks on their faces of not only fear, but respect. They all know that he wasn’t kidding around about a topic as serious as laugh stealing. He turns quickly at one of the on lookers and gives him the evil eye as to say, you steal a laugh," I will be there to stop it," like a villain hero. A villain hero that breaks the law, to uphold the law, for the law-abiding citizens. He will stop at nothing to make sure that the people who enjoy stealing jokes will know his name and fear it. The next time they think about attempting to steal a laugh, they will picture his fist in their faces, wondering what hit them, and think twice about stealing something such as a laugh.
Well, gentlemen and Chance. I will leave you with that. I probably could have gone on a little bit longer about that particular subject but I understand that you guys may have crap to do. According to Austin, he gets 100 e-mails a day so I am just the skip through e-mail. And also, the scanners are about to come in and I actually have to do a little bit of work, believe it or not. Good day.
Batman
SPU (Scanroom President of UPS)
Wow! You made it! You are one loyal reader!
Ah, brave Batman! To post when asked to and actually come up with some banter. Quite good especially about the ridiculous spelling of Wednesday..how are people who haven't been raised with the English language supposed to understand this? Not. I do like your version "wensday" as that is how we say it. As far as laughing at jokes...I don't ususally get them so i will give a smile instead...but also agree don't kill yourself laughing at your own jokes. Either way..hope you have a good "Wensday."
ReplyDeleteMy sperm donor text me the other day and told me he was coming to get munchkin on "wensday" - and i wanted so badly to make fun and tell him to learn to spell, but i held my tongue. He does that alot.... spells things wrong, and every time i think of stella!
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