Baggage Claim

Stella: Why is that no matter how old a guy is he still wants to date a 20 year old? I’m sorry, but I don’t think a person is mature unless they are at least 22. You have to make it through being 21 at least. I have to admit that even I was a stupid 20 year old. I know you probably can't believe that. But that’s because NO girl is smart or mature at 20! Which has to be why guys love those dang stupid, idiotic 20 year old girls. There is really no other explanation.

Loki: Oh Stella, you know that no matter what age you are, you will always think people below you are super immature. I was a stupid 20 year old myself. However, there are rare exceptions. Take our cousin, Curls, for example. She is only 22 and I think she’s been mature for the past 10 years... Anyway, I think we are at the age now where men who are our age will begin to seek out the younger, fitter, blonder girls. And yes! Can’t you see why a man would want to date a 20 year with no baggage… just living the “college life”? I have a feeling this only gets worse and more irritating as we start to age. I think in 10 years when we are like 37 (yikes!) they will still be dating 20 year olds! I’m just glad I don’t have to compete with those bimbos. But I wish you all the luck. And don’t worry any man who would rather date a 20 yr old than you is missing out. But seriously, those girls can’t even get in a bar or order a drink at dinner…unless they are sporting some fake id (which is a sure sign of maturity.) haha

Stella: BAH! I wasn’t asking for a pep talk or anything like that! I really just wanted to talk about how gross men are rather than try to analyze what a man wants & how a 20 year old can satisfy those wants. I am not interested in anything that might be concerned or related to what a man might want. Men are nothing but disgusting rats. I wish you would have just complained about how stupid girls are along with me instead of relating it to my personal life (or lack thereof.)

Now I just hate everybody in general. And thanks to your helpfulness, I’m feeling even more depressed that I’m not younger, fitter or BLONDE! And I’ve got more baggage than one man can carry. Thanks. I’m gonna go dig into some icecream and put on my sweat pants. Mmm. This looks good....

Loki: Eww.. No one is talking about men’s wants and needs or youngins who satisfy said needs. I don’t see what a 20 year old girl has in common with a 28 year old man (or vice versa.) I don’t care how mature they are! What do they talk about? (Except maybe Twilight? Okay sorry… Stella is gonna get mad at me for trying to include Twilight in everything.) I just mean that I can see the appeal. However, that doesn’t mean that you won’t be appealing to older men as well or perhaps one day you can be a cougar. I mean ONE day as in not right now. Otherwise the boy would be 16 and we have all decided you need to date older men. But just because you are 22 doesn’t mean you are mature either. It’s not like those two years between 20 and 22 are so awe-inspiring and directive.

Stella: Well, I became a MOM at 22 so I ceased to have anything in common with the other single girls out there. And sorry, I can’t help but be bitter. It’s part of the baggage.

If the term for an older woman dating a younger man is a cougar, what is a good name for an older man dating a younger woman (besides pig) ?