Let’s Play The Quiet Game

Loki: As if it weren’t apparent already, Stella and I work in a very small office. There are usually only 4-5 people here at a time. There has probably only been 7 people inside the building at one time. There are definitely some benefits to working in a small office, like how I usually never get to work at exactly 8:00. As long as I call and say I am going to be later than 30 minutes, it is no big deal. And nothing would really happen if I didn’t call either because we don’t have the big corporate rules to follow. (There is an employee handbook that I am sure was written in the 80’s and everything else is made up as we go.) So we don’t get written up or get pink slips for being tardy or for wearing something inappropriate. I even wear my holy jeans on casual Fridays.

Stella: I just wanted to NOT correct Loki for once so that everyone can see how she said that her jeans are holy. Hahah. I love pretending to be an English teacher.

Loki: Yes, they are DIVINE. Anyway, we do have to put up with some wonky things around here. For example, most days it is so stinking quiet in here it drives me nuts! There is no talking or music. I personally think I would thrive in a loud environment because I already talk loud (as do most of the people in my family) but I can’t talk loud here because everyone can already hear everything you say even if you whisper. I have to refrain from making jokes or even talking to myself (as we all like to do) because everyone can here everyone!

Stella: Loki does talk incredibly loud, but I am quite positive that her loudness is hereditary so she can’t help it. Although she used to scare my baby when she would come into the house screaming at the top of her lungs, and I’m pretty sure Big T has to tell her to lower her voice once a day. I have to get onto her throughout the day because she is so loud that everyone is getting to hear all of the family secrets!!!

But by far, the most annoying sound in the office would have to be Poodle clicking on her mouse. She takes her index finger and slams it down unnecessarily hard on the mouse making this loud tapping sound. It probably wouldn’t be so loud to us if there was any other noise. But there’s not. All we hear is her tap, tap, tapping.

Loki: I tried to mimick her once by seeing how hard you actually have to push on the mouse to make that TAP TAP TAP sound…and it is pretty hard. (I'm sure you all will try to do it now on your mouse as you read this!) She may be trying to work out some issues over there... Or maybe she is imagining it is Plug’s head. When we are both here I pretend that the others are not listening into our conversations, but occasionally I will catch Poodle smiling to herself at something we said. I know everyone is eavesdropping on us. I wish there was at least some music…even elevator music would do.

Stella: It’s like we aren’t even allowed to talk. We are in time-out! We must sit here quietly at our desks and not look or speak to anyone. I don’t know how they expect us to be sane after sitting in front of a computer screen for 8 hours in complete and utter silence.

Loki: A girl who used to work here got in trouble for talking. They wrote her up and told her she talked too much. She told me too many stories, and they said it was distracting. She quit shortly after. Wouldn’t you if you were told you weren’t allowed to correspond with your co-worker? Sigh… I miss her stories… Yesterday someone actually came in the office. (Woo! A visitor from the outside!) While she was sitting at my desk she proclaimed, “Man, You all are really busy!” I couldn’t tell if she was being sarcastic or not. Did she mean that because it was dead silent we were all so busy with our jobs so that none of us could talk? Or did we appear to be dead because there was no noise? Then we both discussed how much we hated quiet offices as my co-workers pretended to be busy but listened in.

Stella: You can't help it. What’s really funny is when Loki tries to watch her beloved celebrity gossip clips on her computer. She will try to secretly hold the speaker to her ear as if no one can see her or hear her. She turns it down extremely low, but everyone knows what she's doing. Especially when she laughs out loud of nowhere!

Loki: I have resorted to bringing my i-pod too, which I am sure looks totally professional with me lip synching to some song that no one else can hear. Or maybe they can and they are all just ignoring me?

Stella: I think they all try to ignore us…Who wants to listen to us talk all day?

Guess what kind of things Loki watches at work...