Hot or Cold?

Loki: Vacations should be fun no matter where you go. My family is trying to plan a winter vacation right now, and we are trying to decide where to go- to the beach or to ski. Originally we were just going to go skiing, but Batman may have a bum leg & couldn’t participate. So Nana Bess and I have been researching some all inclusive resorts to try out instead. However, there is some argument amongst the family concerning a beach trip. I am getting excited because I have been on a few tropical vacations, and I LOVED it! You didn’t have to worry about paying for anything… Tipping is not allowed… You can eat and drink to your heart’s desire. There is so much to do that is included as well- snorkeling, scuba diving, boat cruises, water volleyball, sailboats, etc. And if you want to get off of the resort, you can add an excursion and go climb up a waterfall, zipline, dune buggy, horseback riding or swim in a cave. Well apparently, the beach is not good enough for some. They will only go on a cruise. Now I have never been on a cruise so I might be wrong… but I don’t want to be stuck on a boat with 30,000 people (or however many people are there) and I don’t want to pay extra for my diet cokes…or my margaritas. I don’t want to worry about tipping and I don’t want to “de-port” with everyone and be BACK on time and so forth. Ugh. I have heard many people love cruises so maybe I am missing something. However, I do NOT want to go on a cruise with a baby. Better hope Batman’s leg is healed or we are fighting! (Isn’t this the way family vacations should start anyway?!)

Stella: Well, I'd rather just go skiing myself. Going to the beach would be fun, but how weird is it to just lay around half naked and drunk in front of your family... just kidding. I would personally just want to go to the beach with friends & or with a significant other. But that won't be happening any time soon... Bummer. And as far as cruise goes.. Hello! Did no one else watch the Titanic? You know, the worst movie in the entire world about a horrendous cruise ship & people dying! I have serious issues with that movie and the whole Celine Dion singing/naked drawing/big awful gaudy diamond/I’ll never let go CRAP. But my paranoia is not that the ship is going to hit an iceberg in the middle of a tropical ocean. I am just saying that I could not breathe in a tiny claustrophobic room shoved in between 1 million other tiny rooms. I would hyperventilate and freak out and it won’t be pretty… Sorry family, I am just like that. I will not go and there is no point trying to convince me that it’s not that bad. I could barely walk from the elevator to my classroom on the top floor of the downtown library because both sides of the walkway were made of glass. I am terrified of heights & glass walls. I thought about dropping the class because of it. During the entire class, I just kept thinking about how I was going to get my legs to move and get my body back inside the elevator when it was over. I can’t even think about it now- it is making me nervous. Batman can just stay inside the condo and babysit the babies while we ski if he is hurting. End of discussion.

Loki: Ooooh good idea! Sorry Batman. Except Batman has to teach Blondie to ski. Although to be honest…if that’s all he is going to do than I bet his leg could handle that. It’s not like he will be able to go ski the blacks and blues with Big T and I. Seriously, how entertaining is it going to be to see Big T fall?!! I am doubly excited about this! BIG MAN FALL HARD- haha. I have prepared to accept that I will have to stay back with the baby at times, which is going to greatly hurt my competitive side. But I’m also counting on you getting tired and coming in every day at lunch to take over. (Isn’t that what you usually do?) I don’t know because I never ski with you or Nana Bess… Snow plowing down the greens is not my idea of fun. Okay, and back to this fear of heights you have: Would you ever live in a 2 story house? Will you walk out onto a balcony and feel safe or is it just the GLASS walls that freak you out? How do you ride on the chair lifts? I must say you have become quite the scaredy cat in your old age.

Stella: I love how you think that you & Big T are the world’s greatest skiers. Whatever. You guys & the rest of the family can go try to kill yourselves seeing how fast you can go and trying to beat each other down the mountain in one piece. I will have no problem skiing alongside my 4 year old and having no bruises and sores at the end of the day. And yes, I can only take the cold for so long & I am happy to come inside and play with babies instead. Being competitive is not in my nature. Unless it comes to throwing glorious birthday parties or something other than sports…

Also, let’s try to not act like I am some wack job. People are going to start questioning my sanity! I am not scared of being up only 2 stories high. I am talking extreme heights- although planes do not bother me. The exception to the 2 story rule is the mall but only because of their glass rails. I walk on the other side of them next to the store entrances. And I don’t like the chair lifts unless they have the bar that comes in front of you. I will hug the pole for dear life if there is not one. I don’t know when this started. I believe it stems from trust issues. I think I have been lied to so much that I have serious issues trusting people and this has manifested itself in not trusting things/objects unless they are tangible & I am able to feel safe near them. Dang, I should quit this job and just pretend to be a psychologist.






Vote now- Tropical or skiing? Or who will wipe out the hardest? I've got 20 bucks on The Man Child.