My Twilosophy

Stella: I would just like to state that I am only doing this so my sister will shut up and quit begging me to include Twilight in everything. This Twilight special will be a 2 part segment... This post will only include MY opinion, and Loki can have her turn to banter & gross me out later.

Let me say first that my intention is to NOT debate WHY Bella chose Edward. Why don’t you go ahead and repeat that out loud to yourself right now so that you can remember this discussion is not about Bella or what happens in the book.... She chose Edward because that’s the way Stephanie Meyer wrote it. End of the story. She very well could have written that Bella decided to choose Jacob in the end, but the fact remains that some women will still prefer Edward over Jacob and vice versa. This is the idea I am entertaining today. (I'm using pictures only for added visual and I used 2 of Rob & 2 of Taylor so there would be no hurt feelings between the two teams..)

So why are some women drawn to Edward’s character and others are drawn to Jacob’s character?

The answer is simple.

In fact, I think I can guess which team you are on by asking you one question.

Do you like Romeo & Juliet?

If you do, you are no doubt a believer in true love and the idea that there is one perfect soul mate out there for you that is worth dying for. You are a hopeless romantic and a Team Edward fan.

Or did you think the entire basis of Romeo & Juliet (and the dying in the end over someone they only knew for about 20 seconds) was stupid?

Yep- sounds about right. Most likely, you do not believe in love at first sight; you believe that you have a choice in who you can love. You probably want to find a man who is your best friend and not “your soul mate.” You are a Team Jacob fan.

Now that’s just one idea. There are many differences that separate these two characters & if you look at your own relationship, I bet that you can see that your “Team” choice is closely related to your spouse choice (or what your ideal relationship would be like.) There are several other simple questions that can reveal which Team you would be more drawn to besides do you like Rob- (the brooding emo type) or Taylor- (One word- abs.) They are pretty basic too.

Would you rather be hot or cold?

Are you into cars or motorcycles?

Would you rather be with an older man or a younger man?

Which is a better present to receive: something hand-made with love or a big fat, expensive diamond?

Or how about this- Do you value romance or friendship? Now we're getting deep...

Now let’s face it, everyone. Bella’s relationship with Edward is ideal. This is every girl’s high school fantasy, which is probably why this book has so much mass appeal. Every girl (especially at age 17) feels plain & ordinary and wants some wonderful guy out there to think that she is the most special person he has ever met. What girl wouldn’t love to hear that this perfect man has been waiting FOR HER for the past 100 years? Why, no other girl has ever even compared to her… Just wait, it gets better. Not only is this man the most mysterious, attractive & richest man in the whole entire school, but he has chosen HER, boring, plain & simple. He can see all of the wonderful things about her that no one else can. Why do you think this book’s audience spans generations? Who can’t pretend to be Bella (for at least one second)? And talk about dedication- Edward could probably sing “Hopelessly Devoted to You” way better than Sandy ever could… Plus he IS talented! On top of that, he is experienced & older... Whew... The list goes on... And for all you mushy romantics out there, it’s a perfect picture of unconditional love... (or is supposed to be anyway.)

There are also a few things that Edward & Jacob have in common- They are both loyal and they are both BEAUTIFUL. Okay, you still probably prefer your man to be either tan, buff & dark or white, sparkly, & cold… (Sorry, I ran out of adjectives for Edward but if you need some- just read the book. Talk about an overload! How many ways can we describe how perfect Edward is? Let me count the ways… There is about 2-3 lines on each page. Seriously.) And sure, you can debate the loyalty issue if you have too, but once again, let’s bring it back to us- not Bella.

So for fun, let’s talk about Team Edward fans first. These fans want a man that is in control. They want to be protected & taken care of- they’re after a true gentleman. I would go as far as saying that Team Edward fans have probably had quite a few celebrity crushes during their day. Because hello!Edward is like a famous celebrity in Forks. He is unattainable to everyone else! (And if this were a Western flick instead of vampires vs. werewolves, Team Edward fans would still probably prefer to marry the sheriff rather than the outlaw.) Edwardian lovers most likely use phrases like “we were meant to be together” or “you don’t choose who you fall in love with” to describe their own relationships. We’ve made it obvious by now that Team Edward fans believe in having a soul mate and want that passionate, romantic love. Talk about INTENSE! They see Edward as the most selfless creature they’ve ever heard about. He thinks of Bella constantly and only does what he thinks is best for her. How many Team Edward fans out there are married to a man that is more like a father-figure? Hmm. Probably quite a few hands going up right about now. That’s because Edward is controlling like a father would be when caring for his loved ones... (And who cares what people say about independent women & feminism... Some women like a man that is in control and makes the decisions. It's a fact. I'm not calling you weak-minded. Those are your words.)

Team Jacob fans, on the other hand, would rather have a man that is their best friend. Plain & simple. Someone who accepts their faults and has plenty of them as well. They want someone down-to-earth, who is normal. Sure, Jacob’s character in the novels is a little jealous and competitive, but that makes him real- not perfect. He is still a good listener and is supportive. This kind of guy will accept you at your worst. Team Jacob fans just don’t want to be a doormat. Sorry, Edwardo lovers, but that’s how Team Jacob girls see it. And of course there are lots of reasons why Edward fans can’t stand Jacob too. To Edward fans, Jacob is just a little boy who doesn’t get the hint. (But most of this discussion just goes back to the books & how Bella doesn’t really love him, blah blah blah, but that’s not what we’re debating.) Team Jacob fans love Jacob because he isn’t this unattainable “Mr. Perfect” that Edward is painted out to be. He is just a normal guy, who happens to be sweet & charming in his own way. He’s got an entirely different personality than Mr. Glum & Despair. Jacob is light hearted and fun. He isn’t Mr. Serious all the time like Ed. He’s carefree… a little reckless… and the life of the party. Jacob fans want friendship over passion. They want someone you can would joke with, laugh & play with. Team Jacob fans probably married someone a little different than their dads. You know, someone less serious, less protecting, less fatherly, less controlling, and less boring. (Okay, did I just give it away that I am a Team Jacob fan? Haha. As if you didn’t already know.) They just don’t want someone to “protect them” and worry about them and dote on them. A little doting is nice- but not to the stalker extent. So while Team Edward fans can’t understand the appeal of Jacob, let’s just make it clear that Jacob fans see Edward’s over-protectiveness and seriousness as BORING!

Now, if we were to discuss Bella (which I said we weren't, but why not- I know it will only upset Loki) and why she chose Edward over Jacob, I think most Jacob fans are actually happy she ended up with him because they end up not liking her character around Book 3 anyway. Good thing she has all eternity to obtain a personality because she is quite a bore herself. All she does is laundry, cook and read Wuthering Heights over & over in her flannel shirts. She’s whiny and fickle. How can she say she knows what she wants? She’s 18. Think about what you wanted at age 18 and now say, Are you kidding me?! Besides that, Bella & Ed are too busy living “The Greatest Love Story Ever Told” to have any fun. It is just drama 24-7. And what exactly is their attraction all about? I mean, she thought he was good-looking and he thought her blood smelled good? The book gives virtually no reason why they fell in love. Hello? What exactly do they have in common besides this idea that they are meant for each other? Bologna. Why does she think she can’t live without him? It's possible. Life goes on deary. And how is this a healthy relationship? Not only does he stalk her everywhere she goes, he controls everything she does and she finds this endearing. Sounds like an abusive cycle to me. And why must she define herself through a man? Her way of dealing with a break-up is also ridiculous… (to throw yourself of a cliff to hear the voice of a guy who broke your heart and ran off. She should have just killed herself and the book could have ended like Romeo & Juliet did. She's already sick & delusional!) Needless to say, she makes stupid decisions and abandons her family and friends in the end.

Stupid doormat Bella.

Calm down, Loki and don’t get your panties in a wad. I just had to put that out there because I really dislike Bella's character.

Now let’s have it. Start professing your love to Edward & LET'S BE DONE WITH IT.

Geesh, I sound like Marcus. (Volturi)