Even though we only sit 2 feet away from each other at work it is hard to talk out loud without everyone listening in- so that's why we resort to instant messaging each other throughout the day instead. The following post is clearly unedited (which will drive Stella mad, but saves us lots of time trying to make this entire thing understandable.)
Loki: Im drinking my second cup of coffee today--its 3pm
Stella: You are turning into Poodle.
Loki: ive loaded it down with some creamer. do you think that's diet enough
Stella: Pretty soon your moppy permed hair is gonna turn gray.
Loki: i dont drink 30 cups a day like Poodle... just 2 sometimes..
Stella: And soon you will need to bring self tanner with you to work to spray on when you get here like Poodle too.
Loki: i dont have moppy permed hair
Loki: and i do not come in smelling of fake tanner either. gross... dont they have some stuff that doesnt stink that bad?
Loki:its like walking into a bar-- fake tanner, stale coffee and cigarettes
Stella: Well, it's fluffy now but if you were a chain smoker for the past 30 years like Poodle it might lose some of its buoyancy
Stella: Why is it that I have to answer the phones when everyone is gone
Loki: hahah true im sure it does bad things to your fro. Although if you remember Poodle didnt always look like a poodle.. this perm is recent
Loki: because you are the 2nd to last in the pecking order . im just right above you dont worry
Stella: I've worked here for 2 years now.
Loki: yeah but that is 3 years less than everyone else
Stella: it wouldn't hurt them to pick up the phone. what are they so busy doing
Loki: pounding the keyboard
Loki: and laughing loudly at stupid jokes im sure.
Stella: It smells okay when you spray it on, but once it dries it still stinks. I tried to live like a vampire for awhile, but it wasn't working out for me so I had to use some in the winter time. Are you so excited that I said vampire? I bet you peed yourself.
Loki: if you thought something was so funny you were practically wiping tears away from your face while you were on the phone... wouldnt you share when you hung up? What could P.R. be laughing hysterically about over there?
Loki:I do get excited in my pants when you speak of vampires...
Loki: haha dont repeat that
Stella: Sorry i'm distracted because i'm busy answering phones and doing actual work. i can't keep up with this chat at the moment.
Stella: That's just nasty.
Loki: oh boy charlie is coming in
Stella: Charlie must be hungry. Or need to pee. It's the only reason he comes in here. Bless his heart.
Loki: or get a cup of coffee
Loki: sometimes he literally walks in...goes pee, grabs him a refill and is out
Loki: blah he has OCD... for real and it is not fun trying to explain things to him.
Stella: he writes like the unibomber.
Stella: What's a quarter million? 250 right
Loki: duh
Stella: i'm stupid today. my head can't focus. i was thinking 75.
Loki: its sounds more when you think of million. ..quarter= 25. college graduate
Loki: just more zeroes
Stella: my ears hurt
Loki: do you want me to rub them?
Stella: no you dont know how
Loki: just kidding- i am not offering.. only mom loves you that much
Stella: no one else knows how !!!
Stella: i will never be able to get married and move away
Loki: yea its really weird- you should probably get that checked out. Maybe you have a tumor hiding up there. Yes, because mom rubs your ears like you are a dog. and she also rubs your feet...which i suppose you can train a man to do one day
Stella: i think i need surgery
Loki: on what?
Loki: your head?
Stella: my ears
Stella: i probably do have a tumor. you would feel real bad
Loki: that makes no sense
Stella: on my ear canals
Stella: answer that phone!!
Stella: You are turning into Poodle.
Loki: ive loaded it down with some creamer. do you think that's diet enough
Stella: Pretty soon your moppy permed hair is gonna turn gray.
Loki: i dont drink 30 cups a day like Poodle... just 2 sometimes..
Stella: And soon you will need to bring self tanner with you to work to spray on when you get here like Poodle too.
Loki: i dont have moppy permed hair
Loki: and i do not come in smelling of fake tanner either. gross... dont they have some stuff that doesnt stink that bad?
Loki:its like walking into a bar-- fake tanner, stale coffee and cigarettes
Stella: Well, it's fluffy now but if you were a chain smoker for the past 30 years like Poodle it might lose some of its buoyancy
Stella: Why is it that I have to answer the phones when everyone is gone
Loki: hahah true im sure it does bad things to your fro. Although if you remember Poodle didnt always look like a poodle.. this perm is recent
Loki: because you are the 2nd to last in the pecking order . im just right above you dont worry
Stella: I've worked here for 2 years now.
Loki: yeah but that is 3 years less than everyone else
Stella: it wouldn't hurt them to pick up the phone. what are they so busy doing
Loki: pounding the keyboard
Loki: and laughing loudly at stupid jokes im sure.
Stella: It smells okay when you spray it on, but once it dries it still stinks. I tried to live like a vampire for awhile, but it wasn't working out for me so I had to use some in the winter time. Are you so excited that I said vampire? I bet you peed yourself.
Loki: if you thought something was so funny you were practically wiping tears away from your face while you were on the phone... wouldnt you share when you hung up? What could P.R. be laughing hysterically about over there?
Loki:I do get excited in my pants when you speak of vampires...
Loki: haha dont repeat that
Stella: Sorry i'm distracted because i'm busy answering phones and doing actual work. i can't keep up with this chat at the moment.
Stella: That's just nasty.
Loki: oh boy charlie is coming in
Stella: Charlie must be hungry. Or need to pee. It's the only reason he comes in here. Bless his heart.
Loki: or get a cup of coffee
Loki: sometimes he literally walks in...goes pee, grabs him a refill and is out
Loki: blah he has OCD... for real and it is not fun trying to explain things to him.
Stella: he writes like the unibomber.
Stella: What's a quarter million? 250 right
Loki: duh
Stella: i'm stupid today. my head can't focus. i was thinking 75.
Loki: its sounds more when you think of million. ..quarter= 25. college graduate
Loki: just more zeroes
Stella: my ears hurt
Loki: do you want me to rub them?
Stella: no you dont know how
Loki: just kidding- i am not offering.. only mom loves you that much
Stella: no one else knows how !!!
Stella: i will never be able to get married and move away
Loki: yea its really weird- you should probably get that checked out. Maybe you have a tumor hiding up there. Yes, because mom rubs your ears like you are a dog. and she also rubs your feet...which i suppose you can train a man to do one day
Stella: i think i need surgery
Loki: on what?
Loki: your head?
Stella: my ears
Stella: i probably do have a tumor. you would feel real bad
Loki: that makes no sense
Stella: on my ear canals
Stella: answer that phone!!
Loki: fine but i just snorted in the phone
Stella: next time let's see how long it can ring first before someone else picks it up
Stella: one time i refused to wash dishes until mold grew in them
Stella: then mom gave in and put them in the sink and then i needed them so i had to wash them.
Loki: yeah that one time...as in this past week...
Stella: hey, it was a good story
Loki: i told mom not to wash those
Loki: she isnt your maid
Stella: i wish we could talk about something other than our mother
Stella: arent we supposed to have other friends
Loki: supposed to maybe. but i only have one other friend... and she doesnt have time for me
Loki: I thought we were complaining about work
Stella: only one friend? What a loser. I have two. Because my one friend got married. And her husband gets automatically gets counted in as my friend.
Stella: Like the grandfather clause
Loki: how about i have nothing left to do today, Ive checked fb for the millionith time, read about all the celebrity gossip, caught up on my favorite twilight website, and checked my bank accoutn... what now?
Stella: I should start playing with this toy cha cha brought for bella and see if they say anything or tell me to stop. what's the latest Hollywood sleeze
Loki: Dumb Jersey shore drama... but how are they stars for real?
Stella: They are.
Loki: yeah the toy is loud-- do it.
Stella: They are good people.
Stella: .........and my friends...
Loki: the jersey shore kids?
Stella: yes
Stella: Snooks
Stella: J wow
Stella: pauly d
Stella: next time let's see how long it can ring first before someone else picks it up
Stella: one time i refused to wash dishes until mold grew in them
Stella: then mom gave in and put them in the sink and then i needed them so i had to wash them.
Loki: yeah that one time...as in this past week...
Stella: hey, it was a good story
Loki: i told mom not to wash those
Loki: she isnt your maid
Stella: i wish we could talk about something other than our mother
Stella: arent we supposed to have other friends
Loki: supposed to maybe. but i only have one other friend... and she doesnt have time for me
Loki: I thought we were complaining about work
Stella: only one friend? What a loser. I have two. Because my one friend got married. And her husband gets automatically gets counted in as my friend.
Stella: Like the grandfather clause
Loki: how about i have nothing left to do today, Ive checked fb for the millionith time, read about all the celebrity gossip, caught up on my favorite twilight website, and checked my bank accoutn... what now?
Stella: I should start playing with this toy cha cha brought for bella and see if they say anything or tell me to stop. what's the latest Hollywood sleeze
Loki: Dumb Jersey shore drama... but how are they stars for real?
Stella: They are.
Loki: yeah the toy is loud-- do it.
Stella: They are good people.
Stella: .........and my friends...
Loki: the jersey shore kids?
Stella: yes
Stella: Snooks
Stella: J wow
Stella: pauly d
Loki: im friends with the grey's anatomy case... and the twilight kids for sure
Stella: blah. Stupid.
Loki: I dont like JWOWW
Stella: i was hoping the greys anatomy ppl all died last season
Stella: she's trashy and ... trashy. what's not to like!
Loki: Oh hush I lOVE me some grey's
Loki: I dont know. I like Sammi (prob because I feel sorry for her) and Snooki and the Situation are very funny.
Stella: let me whine about my life and try to be profound and not be satisfied with anything! who am i?
Loki: Meridith.
Stella: "are very funny?"
Loki: thats a real sentence
Loki: what?
Stella: "they're nice kids"
Stella: Who are you?
Loki: those youngins are a hoot
Stella: Please stop...
Stella: Sonic happy hour ends in 30 min........
Loki: what do you want me to say... "I love them there Guido kids from the jersey shore... GTL baby... Im down with SWS
Stella: sws?
Loki: oh its dtsws..down to snuggle with snooks
Stella: you didn't even get it right.
Loki: thanks for the update... i just had a 2nd cup of coffee... remember? and I still see a gigantic McD cup in front of you, No more caffeine for you.
Loki: why is betty white so popular now?
Loki: i dont get it?
Stella: you're gonna love this email i just sent you. it contains actual work.
Stella: Yeah, I dont either. She is capitalizing very well on her fame. I guess old ppl who act dirty are cool. But is she dirty? or funny? I don't know.
Loki: you are fully capable of running this quote... but fine i will do work
Stella: I'm glad no one comes in our office. If they did they would see this pen hanging out of my nose. bah haha
Loki: hahah the boss just surprised you by walking by! quick- close the I/M and appear to be working. hahah.
Stella: i did
Stella: i even took the pen out in time
Loki: shewww what a close one
Stella: whatever. i can see your bra strap
Loki: so what
Stella: it's all twisted
Stella: and NUDE
Loki: its a nursing bra.. its not pretty
Loki: you jerk
Loki: i cant fit into anything else...im lugging some bowling balls here
Stella: one time i put my head in and it fit in one cup
Loki: yeah I know I was there. again you are a jerk.
Stella: it was BEFORE the bra was purchased and worn by yours truly though
Stella: that makes it sound a little more sane
Loki: did you know on Sept 2nd (as in last thursday) it was 9.02.10
Loki: uhh sorta....
Stella: i dont get it
Loki: 90210--the show. DUH
Stella: I saw an article about a kid who was born on 8.9.10 at 11:12.
Stella: We weren't allowed to watch that show as children so i'm not interested.
Loki: thats weird
Loki : i know.. i was just going to say that.. but i watched the re-runs
Loki: just like the simpsons and roseanne
Stella: Just like how we couldn't watch Home Alone without mom lecturing us on how she'd spank us if we acted like that little boy.
Stella: it doesn't interest me. I hate early 90s clothing
Loki: its coming back in style soon im sure
Loki: i have 2 words for you---- body suits
Stella: blah. Stupid.
Loki: I dont like JWOWW
Stella: i was hoping the greys anatomy ppl all died last season
Stella: she's trashy and ... trashy. what's not to like!
Loki: Oh hush I lOVE me some grey's
Loki: I dont know. I like Sammi (prob because I feel sorry for her) and Snooki and the Situation are very funny.
Stella: let me whine about my life and try to be profound and not be satisfied with anything! who am i?
Loki: Meridith.
Stella: "are very funny?"
Loki: thats a real sentence
Loki: what?
Stella: "they're nice kids"
Stella: Who are you?
Loki: those youngins are a hoot
Stella: Please stop...
Stella: Sonic happy hour ends in 30 min........
Loki: what do you want me to say... "I love them there Guido kids from the jersey shore... GTL baby... Im down with SWS
Stella: sws?
Loki: oh its dtsws..down to snuggle with snooks
Stella: you didn't even get it right.
Loki: thanks for the update... i just had a 2nd cup of coffee... remember? and I still see a gigantic McD cup in front of you, No more caffeine for you.
Loki: why is betty white so popular now?
Loki: i dont get it?
Stella: you're gonna love this email i just sent you. it contains actual work.
Stella: Yeah, I dont either. She is capitalizing very well on her fame. I guess old ppl who act dirty are cool. But is she dirty? or funny? I don't know.
Loki: you are fully capable of running this quote... but fine i will do work
Stella: I'm glad no one comes in our office. If they did they would see this pen hanging out of my nose. bah haha
Loki: hahah the boss just surprised you by walking by! quick- close the I/M and appear to be working. hahah.
Stella: i did
Stella: i even took the pen out in time
Loki: shewww what a close one
Stella: whatever. i can see your bra strap
Loki: so what
Stella: it's all twisted
Stella: and NUDE
Loki: its a nursing bra.. its not pretty
Loki: you jerk
Loki: i cant fit into anything else...im lugging some bowling balls here
Stella: one time i put my head in and it fit in one cup
Loki: yeah I know I was there. again you are a jerk.
Stella: it was BEFORE the bra was purchased and worn by yours truly though
Stella: that makes it sound a little more sane
Loki: did you know on Sept 2nd (as in last thursday) it was 9.02.10
Loki: uhh sorta....
Stella: i dont get it
Loki: 90210--the show. DUH
Stella: I saw an article about a kid who was born on 8.9.10 at 11:12.
Stella: We weren't allowed to watch that show as children so i'm not interested.
Loki: thats weird
Loki : i know.. i was just going to say that.. but i watched the re-runs
Loki: just like the simpsons and roseanne
Stella: Just like how we couldn't watch Home Alone without mom lecturing us on how she'd spank us if we acted like that little boy.
Stella: it doesn't interest me. I hate early 90s clothing
Loki: its coming back in style soon im sure
Loki: i have 2 words for you---- body suits
Okay..I am actually AT work and fixing to leave but had to read the banter first. I literally laughed all the way through it. You 2 crack me up. LOVE LOVE LOVE you and your silliness. and yes.. I am so important that I must come up in the blogs often! I helped MOLD you into who you both are today. :) Job well done... :) gush gush....
ReplyDeletegush, gush too. I don't care what they banter about it's just fun to be part of my grnddaugters lives. But hey, Loki what is your fav Twilight website?
ReplyDeleteLetterstotwilight.com its a couple of girls who write letters tithe cast and twilight in general. They are pretty funny
ReplyDelete