MIL

Loki: What is it about Mother-In-Laws (MIL) that make all clichés seem true? First of all, I don’t have a bad MIL.. Just different. She isn’t my mom so I guess that means I am destined to not agree with her or understand her. She just does some silly things sometimes like post weird photos of my baby and myself. Maybe she just doesn’t have the “eye” for photos because she posts every single picture she has taken, which means she has 50 shots online of Baby Blue in the same outfit with a cup in her face. She doesn’t even have any of Baby Blue posing or smiling… just drinking out of a sippy cup. Even one or two shots like this might be acceptable, but 20 of them are not! She also put up a photo of me in the pool with Baby Blue, (yuck anyway!) but this was particularly bad because she was at a weird angle. You could see almost all of my milk-filled-breasts. (haha—ggggross!) I had to ask her to take it down and she said “okay?” like she didn’t understand why I would ask her that. So I had to explain that you could practically see all of my boobs and that it could be posted as a XXX shot. She just said, “Oops, I didn’t notice.” WELL, my mom would’ve noticed! But maybe that’s because we all are so vain in my family. :)

Stella: First of all, this entire paragraph was about nothing except how your MIL takes bad pictures. At least she takes pictures of her! My EX-MIL (which I can OFFICIALLY call her an EX now!) never took a single picture of my precious baby. In fact, every photo that she owns of her was an extra that I gave her.

Loki: Well, it’s not just that. She also buys some really “cute” outfits for my baby. I will have to cut her some slack since she raised 3 boys and hasn’t had to buy clothes for a little girl before. But we just don’t share the same style. I always seem to get upset when she watches Baby Blue too. I don’t know why. It’s not like she’s dropped her or left her screaming in the floor. She is the grandma so she should know what she is doing, but I feel like I have to run down a list of things to tell her every week before I leave my baby with her. She just humors me by listening, and when I leave she does whatever she wants. But I know she makes up things when I question her about stuff like who knocked over the baggy of precious breast milk. She used to spill and waste so much milk that I finally started making the bottles before I leave. And guess what? We have leftover now! She doesn’t know what that orange spot is on Baby Blue’s clothes when I ask her what happened… (Hello? WHAT IS ORANGE and STICKY?) And she makes up excuses like, “She didn’t take any naps today because she was too busy playing with her cousin!” (Ummm… She “plays” with her cousin, Bella, every Wednesday and my mom still gets her to take naps!)

Stella: Now you’re just griping about clothes & breast milk... At least your MIL doesn't buy her things and make her keep them at her house like my EX-MIL. And I’m pretty sure you don’t share the same style with anyone… So we’ll ignore that criticism. (Although Loki’s MIL bought MY daughter a hideous outfit for her birthday, and I don’t know why because I’ve only had to talk to the woman a handful of times, and she’s not a very friendly person to begin with… Sure, I can pretend to be super friendly & nice, which is why people like me, but if they only knew! And now because of my wonderful acting, I will have to write her a stupid thank you card & pretend that I liked it- when it’s really the most unusual garment I’ve ever seen & Bella will never, ever wear it unless I force her to, and then she’ll cry & scream & it’ll cause me so much angst that I might as well just let it hang in her closet until she outgrows it and then we can pass it on to Baby Blue!!! Whew.) Also, I have to say that you’re pretty crazy when it comes to your breast milk. I don’t know what I have to hear about more often- your breast milk or Twilight. No wonder I don’t have a clear brain. It needs some recovery & alone time without your voice in it.

Loki: Whatever. I try to make it a point to only vent to my mother or sister about problems that may arise or things that I just don’t understand about my MIL. The in-laws also always hound me about leaving Baby Blue for an overnight stay. Ummm… NO! I cannot leave my baby overnight! I would not be ok with that. Both of my sister-in-laws dropped their newborn babies off with them for overnight stays so they think that I am this “over-protective mother with issues.” Or at least that’s how they make me feel! I cannot tell you how many times I heard them say, “You need a date night!” Well, yes, I am sure a date with my husband would be nice without the baby around, but then I would miss out on playing with her! I think that things would be different if I didn’t have to work and I could be with her all of the time, but I don’t so I cherish all of the time I can get with her. Maybe when she is 4 she can go to a “slumber party” with the grandparents.

Stella: OH NO. I will agree here. I am still not sending MY 4 year old off to any sort of slumber party! My EX-MIL wanted me to leave my newborn baby with them as well. She told me when I was pregnant that “I could stay with her the first few times if it helped me feel more comfortable with leaving her there.” I was like, “Are you kidding me! You must not know me!” (Which she didn’t know me… cause I didn’t meet her until I was pregnant! Hahah. Whoops.) Anyway, what a freakin nut case. I did let Bella stay the night with my own parents overnight a few times (when we didn’t live with them) but only because we USED to live with them.. and of course, because it was with MY wonderful parents (and not some looney flakes.)


Loki: Well, like I said before, she is a good MIL, and I do love her. She is just very different from my own mother….and of course, I think my mom is the best. :)

Stella: Let’s hear a few words from the wise, old Nana Bess herself. Nana Bess, what do you have to add to this little quandary of Loki’s (as I do not have a real MIL to banter about. Bahah)


Nana Bess: Yes, getting used to a mother-in-law is a challenge, especially when you have babies! I got to start off quite early learning the difference between my MIL and my own precious "practically perfect" mom! (Gma Modern!).... My MIL (aka "snapper") is VERY different and did things VERY differently. AND she never seemed to think that my opinions were anything but "silly!” On top of that, she gave my babies COKE! First from a straw out of her cup, which she thought was endearing.. and I was appalled! Then later, she would fill up a bottle and when I threw a fit, she would say, "Oh I watered it down" (as if that made it OKay!)....
At first, I would try to slip away into a bedroom to nurse my brand new baby at her house (just freshly home from the hospital) and she ORDERED me to sit in a chair and just cover up with a blanket! How odd I felt nursing there in front of my brother-in-laws and father-in-law! (And I
was a newlywed! Not in the family that long and NOT that comfortable.) BUT I obeyed.

Stella: Eh, that’s nothing. I used to nurse with the entire world watching. It was like a grand performance. People are in awe of women who still breastfeed their child.

Nana Bess: Gma Snapper also used to work full time, so she always mentioned that she would "retire" and watch my babies so I could go to work. This used to make me so mad. I think she was just teasing me, but I never could tell. She acted like I was being a big selfish baby BY staying home and not going to work. She actually kept working until my LAST child was born.. and by then, I had been in the family 8 years and I didn't join the work force (part time) until The Man Child was in kindergarten and then my wonderful MIL helped me out by picking him up 2 days a week from school and this gave him the memory of eating out with his GMA (getting KFC or MC'D's) :)

Stella: I can never understand this sort of thing either. It’s the man’s job to toil the earth!!! Why do people forget that? I’ve got stretch marks & fat deposits and saggy boobs because I had to bear the children. So why should I have to go out into the workforce & let someone else take care of my baby as well? No. It’s the man’s job. Excuse my interruption and please continue on Nana Bess.

Nana Bess: Oh... Gma Snapper NEVER got you girls CUTE clothes either. They always looked like BOY clothes to me. Every now and then she would do okay, but she had to work at buying GIRL stuff as she too, only had 3 boys! Now she buys the GREAT-granddaughters pretty cute stuff... so hang in there.. these things just take time! :) But I guess through the years I have seen that the Coke did not kill any of you… or the sweets, the yelling at Gpa to “SHUT UP you Horses Pa-toot!” didn't scar you either, and you all turned out wonderfully and loved your GMA Snapper. Yes, it is hard. But hang in there. Just because SHE is different and NOT the way you prefer, (like YOUR practically perfect Nana Bess,) it won't harm Baby Blue or little siblings later on. Eventually you will get used to her and her ways and your child/children will know that at Grandma's house, things are a bit different. But at home, this is how we do things! ha/ha...

Stella: Aw, how encouraging for you to hear Loki. Indeed Nana Bess, indeed… I will not pay attention to any of the things said above and continue to remind you all for the 5th time that I don’t have a MIL now and it is the most happiest and glorious thing EVER! Yeee!!! I am filled with much excitement and joy. Thanks for letting me be disruptive.

On to more important things,
tell us what’s weird about your MIL!